3 siblings with me the man and oldest who has ALWAYS looked after mom.
Youngest sister who is mom's POA has been sneaky and teaming up with our middle sister who barely has 11th grade education and depends on lanaes favoritism is her puppet. Lanae the POA has talked about me always making herself in the good light undermining and talking forcefully to me lately but I'm not acceptable of her behavior. She NEVER wants to come over and get hands on helping me with Mom, ALWAYS just 1 weekend of the month is all. Her doing mom's bank statement is her reason for helping us out with Mom. She is out of control and I am willing to try 1 last time to reason with her before I totally cut her out of communication with me. She acts as though she has the authority and control to do whatever she decides and our middle sister jumps bc she has mom's car which little sister controls? I don't know how to find out just what she can or cannot do with her POA access? Thanks for reading.

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POA's today are very boiler plate. What matters is the POA for both medical and financial or just medical. You can google and find out what can and cannot be done with a POA. Have you spoken to your mother about this situation? Since you are taking care of her, I would definitely want to have the POA, this can turn into a bigger mess if you don't.
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Reply to DollyMe

i detect a considerable amount of resentment here. Did you want POA and didn’t get it?

As POA, your sister has the responsibility of taking care of Mom’s finances. She is to make certain all mom’s bills are paid. She has to show receipts for everything she is spending and it must be on Mom. If you have any suspicions that they are misusing Mom’s funds, you can confront them and ask to be shown expense receipts. If she has Durable POA, she is also responsible for Mom’s medical care. Unfortunately, neither sister is obligated to help you with your mother. Contributing to caregiving is not part of the responsibilities of a POA. If you are as angry and burned out as you sound, perhaps your “one more chance” before you cut your sister off should be to tell her you’ve reached your limit and either she takes mom to live with her or mom goes to a facility. That would surely put a big crimp in her attitude toward you, wouldn’t it?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Ahmijoy
AlvaDeer Jul 14, 2019
I would add a dito to that. It is exactly how I feel about the situation. This is not untypical and would recommend Kate Mulgrew's recent memoir about caring for her Dad and her Mother during the 5 years she suffered from Alzheimer's. A close family, but the difficulties of dividing up the duties, seeing the deterioration over these years was too much for a family where 24/7 care in home could be provided over that time (she is an actress) and the family melted down in a big way. So sad, so hopeless it can be, and once the squabbling begins it is truly awful. I think that yes, there comes a time when the care cannot be done in the home. That is the time to get the family together and say so.

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