I often see advice on the forum to bring in APS. In reality, and in these days of underfunded, understaffed service providers - were they really helpful for you? What is the GOOD and the BAD of your experience? I'm in California (SF Bay Area) and I'd love to hear from the locals here too.
I saw the letter from them when I tried to help and convinced her they weren’t going to just put her in a home. This was accurate. They came, asked if there was food in the house, offered some ways to apply for financial help, and a couple of months later sent a team to do a big clean out on the house. (Which she’d destroyed again in a few months time). APS told me if. the person had mental capacity, they can’t just take over or put them in a facility.
My most recent experience was in Southern California some 5 years ago when intervention by APS was required by my brother for his partner, when they were separated and there were alcoholism out of control with meddling by abusive neighbors taking advantage. APS was all KINDS of help and assistance.
We often here on the forum about APS intervening, and I must say it is mostly missives written by people who are attempting to care for their elders and someone ELSE reported them. More of a "What should I do/say; how scared do I need to be". And etc. There are also cases here where someone in family is POA and caregiver and another sibling is wanting to check in/check up for wellness checks.
What the outcomes are we are most often not here filled in.
I will say this to you--if you are worried, what other option is there????? Really this is the ONLY option for the safety and welfare of the elder. So it is worth a try. And if you do it and write here about it, that's all the MORE information. As someone already posted today, "we learn from one another" here on AC.
No one after that has even bothered to ask me how I was doing. Since then they have been nothing but a nuisance, intrusive and invasive, not to mention many of our personal belongings have been disappearing including my wife’s purse, some jewelry and some of my own small (put in your pocket) items. As far as I am concerned they are insidious parasites involved in a racket that takes advantage of unwary and trusting seniors.
There is no abuse or neglect here. I’ve been a doting husband. Diaper changes every four hours, tons of pads and medications to heal the bed sores the lousy hospital sent her home with. I spoon feed her, keep her hydrated and nourished. Plus 3 small rescue dogs to attend to.
I’m tired. They come over unannounced and have a few of times brought police with them. I think it’s for distraction so they can pilfer through our things. I can’t wait to get these people off my back.
The good people are the Hospice Team who assist me with caring for my wife and provide the necessary items we need. We have a RN, CNA and a Chaplain coming by.
So far APS is “power trip” people.
I always tell people that the very best way to never see APS again is to WELCOME them. To give a brief rundown about the person being cared for and offer the MD phone number. Offer a cup of coffee, a glass of lemonade, ask them if they wish to see --in this case your wife--privately. Tell them you are happy to answer any questions they may have. Ask them for help in finding resources if you need them (you say you are exhausted with care). Good eye contact. Calm voice.
Accusations of theft by APS? Nothing is impossible, of course, but that begins to look like paranoia, and such accusations would be viewed as a red flag flying, to be honest.
Again, police arriving with APS? That is NOT a good thing. Not good at all, and is out of the norm entirely.
However, they do follow-up visits if warranted and provide assistance or help them find assistance for a majority of vunerable adults.
A report to APS needs to be documented and investigated but regulations to force an adult to change their living situation is very difficult due to personal rights in NY.