We had to sit her down and tell her she has to have home care. She can't manage her medications, even with an automatic dispenser. Her bills are all behind, and she wasn't eating properly. Now she calls non-stop complaining. I have to just let her leave a message, because I'm burned out from a year of trying to get home care, and now listening to the complaints. Some family members think I should answer the calls when them come in and try to talk to her, but she doesn't remember the conversations, or even that she called.
Even abandoning that phone altogether for answering your mother's calls. Anyone else can call on the new number.
Whenever dH is on the phone, I alert whenever I hear my name, or any sentence starting with "she". Crazy, I know. For his privacy rights, I try not to listen, go in another room with the t.v. on. Very soon, he comes in, talking-maybe to his mom-because 'they' want to involve me by proxy. Have learned to leave quickly.
If a call happens during my cooking dinner, I turn off the stove and leave.
It is that bad for me. Boundaries have been breached, and I am often left the only one still caring about an issue when they have continued on their merry ways, thinking I can solve it. Extreme boundaries, I call it.
During that year, the phone company understood I had to change my number (a few times) and did not charge me. So, I changed the number.
Now, call forwarding would work also. As well as having a second number, a private cell phone for your use only-it never rings because you never give out tgat number.
Place the original number on silent, listen to messages only when you feel up to it, once a week?
It also worked great when ever Dad got a call, the caregiver would stand nearby to overhear the call to make sure Dad wasn't giving out his social security number or a credit care number. If he was, she would halt the conversation, ask Dad who was he talking to, and if it didn't sound right, she would get on the phone.
What is your mother's living situation now? Does she have home care? If so, they will presumably call you or handle any real emergencies. If Mother is living alone then that in itself is the problem and needs to be addressed. If she is safe, you certainly should not be on-call 24/7.