Am I wrong to depend on a chemical to help me cope? Isn't there a better way to deal with the exhaustion of caregiving?

Anti-depressants can be very helpful for many people.  Sure were for me - saved my life, actually.  Just consult with your doctor to discuss potential problems, etc.

Tiger, do you feel guilty because you aren’t going to visit so much? Don’t. It’s ok. I did the same thing. Didn’t seem to matter to my mom.

I have taken most about every anti-depressant out there. I can say with all honesty that none of them really made much difference. I didn’t feel like I was “on” anything. Don’t think if you take it that means you’re an addict. Try it. If it makes you feel better, great.

I am 65. In another life I was a preschool teacher. Now, I am a full time caregiver for my bedridden husband. We need some extra cash and I’ve begun looking for a part time job as a preschool aide. Will I be able to handle it AND caregiving? Who knows. They want two full days a week. Less than that wouldn’t be worth it. I’m being selfish. But I need to get out of this house or lose my mind. Right now, husband and I are fighting over his Congestive Heart Failure. He wants sausage, popcorn, lunchmeat, etc. I’m tired of arguing. I know I need to get out. You do too. You need something to divert your thoughts. Maybe not a fast food job, though. Too frantic. A hostess at someplace like Bob Evans? Take your time and pick out something you’ll really enjoy doing. And come back to let us know what you found.

Real exhaustion takes a lot time to get over. Mine was house burning down, very nasty legal case, 10 years of stress. And you don’t bounce back quickly after a long difficult time. A real holiday (or even a move) helps. A change of scene forces you to think of other things. My own take on chemicals is that if it helps, take it in the short term. Just don’t get hooked, particularly on sleeping drugs or strong pain killers.

Lots of people have found that a short hours volunteering ‘job’ is a good way to get back into the workforce. Look for one with good company – not in aged care! And read BuzzyBees old site for a few minutes in the morning, it just has to make you smile. Best wishes.