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Hi friends... I was about to return to work when my dad got sick. So I have stayed at home while we figure out how to make all of this work. My family easily needs to bring in at least 2000 more a month to make it work. We would easily be paying more than 2000 for a nursing home. I feel it is an equitable exchange caring for my dad and him paying me $2,000/month for full time care. My husband feels that he is our parent and that we don't take money from our parents to care for them. I need some outside input to see more clearly. Thanks in advance.

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I had a written contract with Dad and charged him for his care. I paid quarterly taxes and had Dad issue me a 1099. Also kept track of additional expenses, such as special foods and mileage for dr appts. --Another option was to let his income add up to be split with siblings on his death, but I was the only one taking care of him. Third option was to let his income add up and then be spent down someday if he needs Medicaid.
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Thanks for the additional information. Does Dad have other assets in addition to his income? Would it cause a problem with your brother if your Dad were to pay you to be his caregiver?? Is there adult day care in your area that some of his income could be used for? This would give him a wider array of people to interact with and you could seek employment outside of this
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Dear outdoormelle,

Good of you to want to care for your dad. But given his health conditions it does feel like a lot to take on. We all start out with good intentions. But I wonder if might be better to use your dad's $3,000 a month to arrange for assisted living or a nursing home.

Even if you are compensated financially for taking care of your dad. I wonder if that will add to your resentment and anger in the future somehow. You might even feel trapped at one point. If your father feels hurt about anything he might even say "but I'm paying you to care for me."

In my culture, you are just expected to care for your parents. My father never paid me a salary but I worked his care around my full time job. It did take a toll. In hindsight for me, I failed to see some of the pitfalls of caring for my father and how to resolve those pitfalls.
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Great questions. He is 82. He is recovering from guianne barre. He has not gained the strength back in his legs enough to stand. Tho doing well in therapy. He has lost his motor skills on right side. And has a catheter due to enlarged prostrate. Mom died 6 years ago. Brother and I have medical and financial poa. Bro and I live in different cities. Dad gets about 3000/month from various sources that he lives off. That will maintain till he passes.
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This can be a tricky situation. I would want more information before I weigh in. And, the questions can be personal. How old is dad and what is his financial situation? Is Mom still in the picture? Do you have sibs? Are they involved in his care? Who has financial POA and does anyone have a health care proxy?
If you are in the states, not working and gaining social security benefits will affect YOUR retirement. How long would your Dad be able to pay you $2000/month? You would need an agreement in writing if you think that he may need Medicaid at some point (Medicaid is for low income folks. ) Are you able to care for your Dad 24/7 like the level of care he would receive in a facility?
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