I think I made the wrong decision by putting my mom into a nursing home. What can I do now?

We are raised to think that doing the right thing will always feel good. And it doesn't. There is not a lot of peace or contentment to have as a caregiver regardless of what you do. A lot of the time it's a choice between which level of anxiety can you live with, not what will eliminate anxiety!

I have family who believe that if you put someone in a nursing facility that you've abandoned them, dumped them, and given up your right to be their next of kin. All I can say to them is that we are only able to do our best. For a lot of us, that means we have to take a lot of other people and things into account. Work, bills, marriage, kids, life's normal adult obligations. Some day they will come to understand when it's their parents in need of care.

I look at it this way - of course nobody *wants* to go into care. If they did, it would be harder to get into than Disneyland. I have also found the people who criticize placing someone into a care facility were also the same people who laid guilt for using day-cares when my kids were babies. At some point, you have to do what you must and what those other people think doesn't matter.

I told my guilt-mongers in my family that if they want to come up and take over for some shifts or help pay the bill, then I would listen to their opinions. Until then....zip it.

Shawntell, not only is this better for you, it's better for your mom. She may think she'd rather not live there but she'd feel guilty living with you since she knows that you can't do it any more without endangering yourself. You'll both be healthier for this move. I'm so thankful that you've stuck with it. Continue to value your own health - your mother does even if she can't directly say so. Please keep checking in with us.
Carol

I am so thankful for this website. I was starting to think I was crazy... I have been a care giver to my mom since my oldest sister passed away... I was 21 years old. I have been caring for my mom and my younger siblings all my adult life. I have lost two husbands behind my family. Well now it is at a point in my life where my mom is terminally ill and I can't give her the care she is use to having from me. I recently put my mom in a nursing home facility. She is not happy there and tells my other family she doesnt want to be there. She doesnt tell me because she knows that I have done all I can do. It was hard enough to make the decision to put her there but when I finally did it... I was able to rest better at night. It is never a easy decision to make. I felt I could handle it because I had been doing it most of my life. But her needs became more serious that I couldn't do it... It got harder and harder... so now that she is there... I moved into a one bedroom apartment not because I had to but because I didnt want anyone else staying with me... that way when they would ask I could say no and not be lying about it. I don't have the room... I told my mom social worker today that I was not bringing her out of the nursing home to live with me. I felt guilty at first but looking back I did all I could do with out losing my mind, and I know if I bring my mother back home it is only going to stress me out when I am at work. I can't do that to myself. So this website made me know that my decision to live my mom in a nursing home was the right one. God will watch over her better than I ever will... I am praying for anyone who has to go through this process.... It is extremely hard. I cried for weeks battling whether I should put her in a nursing home... it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do... God bless you all... I hope this helped someone as it did for me...

I honestly believe that one's mother should stay home as long as possible. You will only have one mother and once she is gone that will be it. You will go on with your life and thoughts. Now a days there are so many alternatives for a loved one to be able to stay at home. there are home health providers that can come to your home and help. There are other helpful nursing programs that private insurance, medicare can pay for. Nursing homes will tell you that long term is best because they want money. At a nursing home it is frightful, full of strangers, full of death, sadness, and loneliness. Nursing homes paint a pretty picture when you are around, but once you turn that corner, watch out. I would never recommend a loved one to be placed in a nursing home unless absoultely necessary. It is a horrible place for your mother to spend her final days.

I honestly believe that one's mother should stay home as long as possible. You will only have one mother and once she is gone that will be it. You will go on with your life and thoughts. Now a days there are so many alternatives for a loved one to be able to stay at home. there are home health providers that can come to your home and help. There are other helpful nursing programs that private insurance, medicare can pay for. Nursing homes will tell you that long term is best because they want money. At a nursing home it is frightful, full of strangers, full of death, sadness, and loneliness. Nursing homes paint a pretty picture when you are around, but once you turn that corner, watch out. I would never recommend a loved one to be placed in a nursing home unless absoultely necessary. It is a horrible place for your mother to spend her final days.

Definitely have the Nursing Home inspected!! It's terrible what goes on in state Nursing Homes. The private ones need to be inspected as well. Just because some people can pay more, doesn't necessarily mean they are getting more. It can be deceiving. When you go to check places out, you need an appointment...so they know you're coming and they're ready for you. I've heard too many horror stories from my nephew who used to work in a nursing home!!!
You do need to think of your own health and happiness. I wouldn't want my kids to have to go through what you're going through for me....they deserve to have lives of their own. Aging is a tough thing. You're always feeling guilty if you do, and guilty if you don't....we want our parents to be treated well and with dignity and kindness. Ask around, and talk to your doctors to see if they can recommend a decent Nursing Home. Good Luck, and God Bless.

Lizard41, I'm going through what you experienced in the very beginning. Putting my 95 yr old mom in a nursing home. She very quickly declined with dementia. They say it is Lewy Body. It is so hard to accept that 6 days before putting her in the home she was out having lunch with me, shopping and washing clothes! I thought it was an infection, since this had happened once before so when she was unresponsive, I had her rushed to the hospital. No infections. The guilt I felt as they kept poking her with needles! I promised her I'd never do this to her. She would be with me forever. I took her into my home 32 years ago, and all I can say is I wish I didn't feel so bad. My husband, daughter and grandchildren need me. I want so badly to feel better about this decision. The day after we put her in the nursing home, I had a nervous breakdown. I was rushed to the hospital accross the street from the nursing home. My husband and daughter were besides themselves. I'm recovering, but I so badly want to get over this guilt. Thanks for sharing your story, it is helping me to know others feel the same way I do. Take care of yourself.

Thank you, Kathleen. I was responding to Jane who posted before me. I was coming alongside her to support what she said about prolonging life. We certainly want our loved ones with us for as long as possible, but not by desperately opposing what is natural.
I believe lizard's Mom passed in early January 2012. She is a Very Good Daughter. I expressed my condolences on her wall. We do have a Memorial thread here on Aging Care where you can post your thoughts to our friends who have lost a family member.
We become family, too:) Big Hugs, Christina xo

woops, I meant to say Lizard 41 - where'd I get Jane ???

Jane, Christina28 (above) said a mouth full. Remember first that all involved are spiritual beings having a human experience. Listen to your voice inside and know that it is the best advice for you. We are not 'all' cut out to take care of our folks or siblings, but we can help them find a solution.

I have not read all the posts but Carol is very wise I would believe what she has said. I do not think you have made an error placing her I know how hard caregivers work to keep their parents and spouses home-my decision took me a long time to make to place my husband and especially applying for medicaide is no easy decision and I did keep waiting for someone to give me permission to place him which never happened-my therapist told me I was waiting for someone to rescue me and that was not going to happen. After I decided I could no long care for him at home then the social worker and nurses and PT in rehab agreed with my decision. W e only place them after much soul searching and most do well after a week or two of adjustment -and caregivers still are there for them-visiting the NH and making sure they are getting good care. Please do not feel bad-her getting sicker would have happened even if she was at home.

Practical is one thing. In medication I feel less is best. Have always felt that way and sometimes found alternative medicine to cure a problem. I have the same thoughts with my mother. She is on an outrageous amount of drugs from this past hospital stay. The head nurse and Doctor at the rehab facility felt the same. I spoke with hospice and out of fear of another hospital visit signed up for their help. Since then, they have taken over at the Rehab (skilled nursing facility) so even though my mother is showing signs of infection.....no antibiotic is give. I am private paying for this facility. NOT cheap. The Hospice doctor has the BIG say. By the way, the ever so wonderful hospital, didnt have a clean enough facility that I got sick myself, costing me more money to miss work plus doctor co-pays. I pull the records everytime my mom has gone to the ER.........the hospitalist's lie in the paper work and to my face. The past 2 times they IV'd a drug she has a known allergic reaction to. Then told me they didnt I had to pay big bucks for medical records to see it or get info from a night nurse, that wasnt on guard for my questions. I have legal POA and Health care as well as custodianship. They lectured me because our primary care physician doesnt have hospital rights. How was I to know since before this we had not visited the hospital but only 2 times in Florida. Hospitalists has been a big issue in our news papers. However, I am not originally from Florida and our doctors were allowed to monitor and get report from hospitals easily in Michigan. Lies to my face when my mother is concerned or myself does not impress me. Off of my mothers current situation.....in 2005, I had a stuck kidney stone that my doctor (in Bradenton...formerly my doctor in Michigan) discovered after repeat urinary tract infections and kidney infections. Instead of driving 100 miles each way, it took 13 months and seven pages of antibiotics and 3 Urologists and tons of tests later, even physicians wanting to repeat tests....when I stopped it and found a Nurse Practitioner that was highly appalled at my records and had me scheduled for surgery right away. Finally stone removed that I repeated asked for and it just couldnt happen. 7 years later not stone. I got to a few OBGYN's here in Fort Myers and get a vaginal infection after seeing them.....took 10 years to find 1 that it doesnt happen at. Natural and plain stupidity in the medical system is a whole different ball game here. I have very few doctors I have any confidence in, within this city. I know my mom is old bet I know I made a mistake and am still making them trusting her in their care. I should have stuck with driving 100 miles to bradenton and having home health care. That is my honest belief. I know I can be blasted from an Floridan or other for my comments but where I come from Age does not count and illness is fixed or controlled and you move on. Until anyone has been through what I have, I do not want any judgement.

Practical is one thing. In medication I feel less is best. Have always felt that way and sometimes found alternative medicine to cure a problem. I have the same thoughts with my mother. She is on an outrageous amount of drugs from this past hospital stay. The head nurse and Doctor at the rehab facility felt the same. I spoke with hospice and out of fear of another hospital visit signed up for their help. Since then, they have taken over at the Rehab (skilled nursing facility) so even though my mother is showing signs of infection.....no antibiotic is give. I am private paying for this facility. NOT cheap. The Hospice doctor has the BIG say. By the way, the ever so wonderful hospital, didnt have a clean enough facility that I got sick myself, costing me more money to miss work plus doctor co-pays. I pull the records everytime my mom has gone to the ER.........the hospitalist's lie in the paper work and to my face. The past 2 times they IV'd a drug she has a known allergic reaction to. Then told me they didnt I had to pay big bucks for medical records to see it or get info from a night nurse, that wasnt on guard for my questions. I have legal POA and Health care as well as custodianship. They lectured me because our primary care physician doesnt have hospital rights. How was I to know since before this we had not visited the hospital but only 2 times in Florida. Hospitalists has been a big issue in our news papers. However, I am not originally from Florida and our doctors were allowed to monitor and get report from hospitals easily in Michigan. Lies to my face when my mother is concerned or myself does not impress me. Off of my mothers current situation.....in 2005, I had a stuck kidney stone that my doctor (in Bradenton...formerly my doctor in Michigan) discovered after repeat urinary tract infections and kidney infections. Instead of driving 100 miles each way, it took 13 months and seven pages of antibiotics and 3 Urologists and tons of tests later, even physicians wanting to repeat tests....when I stopped it and found a Nurse Practitioner that was highly appalled at my records and had me scheduled for surgery right away. Finally stone removed that I repeated asked for and it just couldnt happen. 7 years later not stone. I got to a few OBGYN's here in Fort Myers and get a vaginal infection after seeing them.....took 10 years to find 1 that it doesnt happen at. Natural and plain stupidity in the medical system is a whole different ball game here. I have very few doctors I have any confidence in, within this city. I know my mom is old bet I know I made a mistake and am still making them trusting her in their care. I should have stuck with driving 100 miles to bradenton and having home health care. That is my honest belief. I know I can be blasted from an Floridan or other for my comments but where I come from Age does not count and illness is fixed or controlled and you move on. Until anyone has been through what I have, I do not want any judgement.

Jane B: you are of a practical mind. I agree with you.
Should the arrows come, I will stand beside you and take my share. Manmade guilt and propaganda focussing on merely the physical aspect of life in our culture, minimizes the hope and joy of the "afterlife".
If one believes we are spiritual beings having an earthly experience, then we learn to let go and age gracefully, accepting the circle of life. Others shall continue on their futile journey to keep another's body functioning, fearfully playing with the natural lifespan. You have to draw the line somewhere. We do our best, but not at the expense of our own health and the limits of science.
Never apologize for expressing your honest beliefs! Hugs, Christina xo

In the first sentence, I meant "because there was NO treatment for them." I oughta proof read before I post!

I know this will sound almost sacrilegious to some but here goes: decades ago, things used to take people out faster because there was treatment for them, and no sense that things could be treated. Today, we keep people alive longer in decreasing health. And then we blame the system, and ourselves, for declining health. Fifty years ago, our elders would never have gotten to this point. I'm not saying people are wrong to feel despairing or angry. What I am saying is that there is another way to look at this. We are buying more time (at a cost...lots of different kinds of costs) and there are pluses and minuses to it. It is inevitable that people, with a cascading series of health events, get weaker. That they have a harder time fighting off infection. That hospitals do their best to control sources of infection but that not everything is controllable or fixable.
It's awful to watch people we love go downhill. It makes us feel helpless because some part of us believes we can love or will or otherwise do SOMETHING to bring them back to health. And I think sometimes we soothe our anxiety by blaming others, or a system.
More and more, I am coming to wish we all would see the time we have with the elders in our care as less of a battle to be won against something: old age, hospitals, The System, whatever. Maybe just bless the time and each other and seek more peace during the inevitable transition.
I can feel the arrows being sent my way. But I believe this is another way to look at the truth.

This is taking a huge toll on my nerves. Mom is not doing well at the Facility and the huge amount of drugs she is on is crazy. Dr. thinks she has pneumonia yet again......so yesterday he sent her to hospital radiation just to use the same ex-ray that was last use in the hospital. At the facility, Hospice was suggested. I feel like they are dictating more than the doctor at the facility. I feel like everything they convince me to do is not the right decision. Mom lost 10 more pounds in the hospital, mostly because they kept her knocked out....even during meal times. Making matters worse, while at the ER last week I contacted nasal impetigo which is contagious. The 2 antibiotics that I have dont seem to be helping. Mom looked very sick yesterday, we have not gotten ex-ray results back so she is not being treated if it is pneumonia. Her oxygen level keeps going down and they put her on oxygen.......I am to the point I do not trust any of them. I have missed work do to my lovely infection and now need a note to return to work. I am at my witts end. Just keep feeling like I make mistake after mistake with my mom. How am I going to live with this?

Daught, I totally agree with you. I have witnessed over testing and people in their 50's, lately, being told they have cancer only to be told a week or two later they don't..."but here, take this" anyway....maybe drug studies they are unwitting guinea pigs for a physicians profits? It is disgusting.
I remember, back around 1960 ....early 60's....when mental health facilities paid people to provide some companionship to people, inpatients, to read to, play checkers, to provide some low stress companionship to them. It seems all practitioners due these days is cause more stress...and as we all know, stress kills. The most marked declines in my mother were only after hospital stays and sometimes were immediately life threatening medications they put her on. She hemorrhaged and had to be returned to the hospital after they put her on blood thinners. They then took her totally off the thinners. What we are not allowed to know is, was the right prescription ordered, was it the right strength, "may we destroy all the medical records, "we have so little space"....."
Just unbelieveable. I stay as far away from hospitals (procedures on steriods" facilities, and from physicians whom I don't believe. It's always time for a gut check when it comes to physicians, I've come to believe.

It sounds like your mom is in the horrible downward spiral that is modern healthcare. We recently lost a close family member who was egregiously over-treated, in and out of the icu and back and forth to the nursing home. It was nearly impossible to get any doctor to look at him as a person rather than an opportunity for endless tests, procedures, and drugs. Finally, one of his many doctors (who had known him for years) told us that he considered the 'treatments' to be nothing but futile torture and that the right thing to do would be to let God take over. It helped me see the insanity of treating dementia patients for the conditions that would mercifully allow them to have a natural and gentle death. It's unspeakably cruel and I can't help but think it's driven by profit. There's a lot of money in ensuring that the elderly have a long and torturous death.

Lizard, I too am very sorry for your heartbreak. It has been 6 years since my mother has passed and I too am trying to discover why I keep beating up myself with the coulda, shoulda woulda. I think had our family dynamics been different, I wouldn't feel this way. The last, 30 years! before she passed were absorbed with her care and needs, (which I could have done much better on I think, but at what cost....when you consider your children, husband, etc) I didn't have time for my friends in part due to my own health problems.
But if you take away nothing more than this, as a great mental health professional told me once...."We all do the best we can."......That information goes a long way in being kind to ourselves, making allowances for others and for the impossibly high bar we set for ourselves.
The health care industry in this country is in the "just out of the womb" stage. They are clueless as to what we need, maybe that is in part because so many men are the "deciders" of what takes a feminine vantage, nurturing.
You were carrying the load of you, your mother, absentee relatives and the "unconscience" professionals. You did great. Really you did. If you are punishing yourself for your own perceived screw up.....let it go. How many times before this did you go through all of this.....ONCE !!!!! This was your first time! Do you give a first grader a copy of "War and Peace" and expect a book report on Tuesday? NO !
Remember this is not all there is and remember Steve Jobs last words....."Oh, WOW, Oh wow.....OH WOW !!!!
That said learn to recognize your simple and profound grief of her loss. The rug has been pulled out from under you.....find a new rug.
Love and hugs

I am supper sorry to hear about lizard41 loosing her mother. My mom just got released in poor condition back to a skilled nursing facility after yet another week in the hospital, major drugs and mental status change. Have not seen her awake since yesterday. I agree home is the better choice, although I thought in hind site the therapy would be better daily. Home is costly but, so is this. I am now having to pay the skilled facility and still I know my mom wont have one on one care. The price is not cheap bit nor is home care. Being in a second floor condo with no elevator I have had to see many options and some contractors wont even answer. I need an elevator to get her where she can and needs to go. At this point her heath is so critical.........I just cant stand the thought of everytime I thought I should just get her home and didnt. I know what lizard feels. I have taken care of mom myself for many years. Had one skilled nursing home experience 2 years ago....walked mom in for rehab and 15 days later wheel chair'ed her out and got her off all the scarey drugs and had her walking in 2 days. This time I was stupid and thought perhaps a different facility would be better. 3 Facilities later, and multiple ER visits, AT Home Help and 24 hr one on one would have probably avoided all of this. I am on edge and mom is not mom with everything that happened. I hate this for happening and I hate that I cant be the one on one person. At least not 24 hours a day. Dont know what to do.

lizard, my heart goes out to you in your grief now. Your Mom raised a great daughter, who demonstrated her love every day.

Gee I'm sorry about your mom, especially under these circumstances. And you're right, there needs to be changes in a nursing home. Maybe you're just the right person to be looking into it too. You know, that's how change for the good happens, when someone loses a person they love to someone or something that's not quite right. I'm reminded of the M.A.D.D. movement started by a mom losing someone she loved to a drunk driver. If I were you, I'd also be curious to see how many other residents in that nursing home have fallen and had it NOT reported to the family, or had a similar thing happen that happened to your mom. hmmm Anyway, from someone who lost her mom in April 2011, I understand and I'm sorry. Nancy

It has been almost 1 month since my moms death. The pain I feel is the worst pain I have ever been thru. In reading my original question I will now take the time to answer it, myself. I would have definitly have done things different. Out of all the health problems my mom developed while in and out of the NH and hospital she died from an intercranial bleed. She fell while at the NH, and they never completed the neurological testing let alone checked her coumiden level. She fell on christmas eve and died on new years eve. It was a slow bleed. There were signs that week inbetween. Some were addressed some were not. I blame myself for not pushing the issue. Believe me I know her sudden death was more of a blessing for her, for she no longer has to suffer. For that I am greatful. She slipped into a coma, and did not suffer. She took one breath in then out and was gone. It was peaceful. I don't know how to begin to live without her. I am lost! But one day at a time, I owe to myself, my family, and especially my mom. I want her to be proud. I want to get her medical record from the nursing home, I just need to. I know it will not bring her back. But there needs to be a better protocall for when the elderly patients fall. I do not want this to happen to someone else. Wow, how many has it happened to already? My mom, I love her so much. I will grieve for her and miss her everyday for the rest of my life. :'(

It is exhausting. The emotional end of it is as exhausting as the physical part of not getting enough sleep and not eating right because you are "serving so many masters". When my Mom was at home on hospice, I did not let them put a foley in because I was so afraid of UTIs. However, the impossibility of keeping her dry was also heartbreaking because she would end up with a horrible tenderness, no matter how vigilant I was. So, you are d@**** if you do and d@**** if you don't.
Also know that changes in their demeanor and temperment can be hurtful, because I know I was thinking how now we had much more time together then, albeit for a wretched reason, but they do not necessarily find any solice in that either. Our parents generation was taught that if you can't do something for yourself that it was shameful. So perhaps that is a part of the dynamic here. Misdirected anxiety.
Sometimes the simplist thing can be very comforting to them, if you can find something they liike. Give her a manicure, brush her hair, etc. Or just being there, take a book to read to yourself and be there for her.
My heart goes out to you. Authentic talks and calm abidding may help in feeling the time is well spent.
I once read a story about a "Buddha" that visited someone whom had lost their child. The mother was just destroyed. She had very profound grief and did not feel her life was worth living anymore. The "Buddha" told her, "Go to every house in this village and the next village. Find a home that has not lost someone."
He gave her a task to show her that this is a part of life. She came to know she was not alone in her grief.
There is a good book just released, not necessarily about aging or advanced illness, but it has some very good information in it about you and your relationship with your physician and about "dealing" with them. It is "The End of Illness" by David B Agus, M.D. It is worth reading. A very good reference for us.
We have a ways to go in our system of medicine and our culture that thinks there is a cure and projected outcome that we have conjured up and expect to arrive at. We need to learn to let go and tend to our loved ones inner needs. The doctors will never be there for the emotional, mental or spiritual needs....at least not in our "healthcare" system.

Lizard41, it broke my heart to read your words that you now think of yourself as "so selfish" to have been burned out and exhausted. You weren't at all. In fact, "selfish" has nothing to do with it. Pure physical and emotional stamina only extend so far, and when they are exhausted, WE are exhausted. Stamina is not a perpetually renewing resource UNLESS you take the breaks that are required to refuel. It's not a matter of powering through, after a certain point. And, by the description in your original note, you'd reached the breaking point for sure.
We cannot "save" our parents from dying. For all the faults in medical care, for the most part, people do their best to care for the patients in their care. People with weakened immune systems get sick more easily. No one is physically immortal, on this plane, in these bodies. Your Mom will die, at some point, and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it. Let yourself off the hook. Love yourself for caring for her so well, and for seeking help when you could no longer do it yourself. And let go of the selfish label, it doesn't apply to you. At all. And it never did. The only thing you are guilty of is not being a magician in a way that no human can ever be.

Back in hospital 1-18-2012, another UTI 2 bacterias this time. Dont think she really cleared up after the 12 day Christmas stay. They had her on a foley the whole time and one bacteria is caused from that. She is so sick now, I know how you feel in every way. Two nights ago I left the hospital thinking I would never see her again. Its awful. Drug overload and she has gone down hill being there not better. I am off work today....missed most of last week. Having a hard time trying to talk to one of the doctors, he just lectures me. I started shaking yesterday and cant stop. I also feel the guilt of when I felt burned out. My mom means everything to me and I feel awful I cant help her.

I did call a lawyer on the second trip to the hospital with digoxin toxicity, because I had begged the doctor who discharged her to go back to rehab with it not to give it because my mother had problems in the past with it. Then I repeatedly told the doctor at rehab she cant take digoxin. He refused to stop giving it. 20 days later sent her back to hospital......when her dig levels came down......they put her back on it. I had a major fight with them over that. The nursing center she is at now is the 3rd one and they all seem to be the same. She became sepsis and spent 12 days in the hospital and was just released back to rehab this past wednesday, now she has been put on thickened fluids and mashed food she hates. she has been on so many antibiotics her stomach is a mess. She about 80 lbs now. She always had a big appetite and weighted 112. She would eat the refrigerator door if she could have. I have trouble understanding her now. She is still coughing, so they are giving her robitussin and imodium......she was at least able to do therapy in between all the hospital visits. I dont think she can now. The lawyer I called said "so, what harm was done?" It was if I was upset over minor things. I feel like she is being killed there. I jump everytime the phone rings thinking it is another trip to ER.

Deadly. I lost a cousin, a young age 74, and a dear friend's husband, 80, in the last year and a half. Both contracted sepsis after hip replacement surgeries.
I suppose everything happens for a reason, but I would get a brutal medical law attorney and sue the hospital and the damn doctors. Careless and lazy hospital workers who don't wash their hands after tending each patient is part of the problem! Praying for your Mother, Bless her heart. Do not blame yourself! Hugs:)

I made the same decision as lizard41 who posted comments in november 2011. my mother 89 and healthy enough to go through a hip surgery under my care, (fractured her hip at 2:30 am) is completely and utterly a mess. ER visits repeatedly since end of oct. flu, 2 pneumeonia's, digoxin toxicity, sepsis with from e-coli....heart problems enhanced......confusion enhanced. Drugs that conflicted, and now 30 lbs less, with congestion....I am so in awe at the lack of professional health care. She was only supposed to get physical therapy and return home. Almost 4 months later.......I cant believe what is happening. I am on a second floor condo and actually hoped for physical therapy to happen......in hind site, I would have brought her home and had therapy at home in a clean environment. My heart is broken.