As I watch my mother (88 years) in ICU, I wonder at the emotional roller coaster and decisions that the doctors are asking my father to make day by day about "next steps". When we have conversations with them, they always act like there is a path to recovery, but it doesn't look like that to me. One day is better than the next and those are the days they ask if we should take the next surgical step to keep her alive. I never want to put my caretakers in the position of wondering what to do - I want to write detailed instructions as to when they should let me go. With the doctors always suggesting the next "hope", how can I predict what condition allows my loved ones to say enough? How can I write up thought provoking questions so that they make the right decision to allow me to go so they can live their lives?