Would placing my mom at my son's house and having a caregiver come to her be considered gifting him if she paid the rent? We need Medicaid.

In my area , most memory cares require a period of self pay… then they accept Medicaid. Self pay of 1 , 2 or 3 years… the longer you self pay , the more options of facilities goes up. My mom had about 10 months of self pay.. the place we found accepted her knowing this.. we were fortunate to find it..

Start with calling your county office of aged and disabilities.. mine was guiding me and going to do the application , but my mom passed just before she would go on Medicaid…

Special, all of moms income will be paid to the facility when she goes on medicaid, except a small monthly allowance for personal needs, like $40 to $120 depending on what her state allows.I find getting them in on self pay gives you more options. I wouldn't recommend spending all her money trying to keep her out of a facility. Get her into a facility that accepts medicaid when it's time, this will be the easiest transition for her and you to get her on medicaid. Change is hard for dementia patients, so starting out with multiple moves can easily send her into a downward spiral. Just something to consider when making choices for her.

Edit: do not do the application if she doesn't meet the criteria, you will just have to do it again. You can compile all the documents but, don't muddy the process by applying when she doesn't meet the requirements.

It's good to assess all options.

However, how does your Son feel about this plan?

Has he suggested it?
Is he willing to have caregivers in his house coming & going? Be willing & able to be Care Manager? ie Take on resposibility when Aides are no-show or cancel? BE the backup or arrange alternative backup.

This option needs his full OK or will be a non-starter.

I’d search for an appropriate place that takes Medicaid now and not risk multiple moves for someone already in a place of mental confusion. Not to mention the trials of finding and keeping good caregivers that are so common. You’re correct in memory care being hugely expensive. My mom was in a hugely expensive nursing home for four years, going from private pay to Medicaid in that time. Please know that no matter which way the bill was paid, her care remained exactly the same— kind, competent, and compassionate. Her room never changed and no one involved in her day to day care seemed to know or care how she paid. It’s always a good idea to consult an elder care attorney, many times they have advice and input on things we don’t even know to consider. I wish you peace in figuring this out

If she already qualifies for LTC, you are at the sweet spot to find a good Medicaid facility and complete her spend down there. Once qualified, she goes to the top of the list and stays. Why are you planning to agonize over just 8 months? Do homework now and find that Facility that accepts Medicaid. You can also consult a geriatric care manager for advice

You should go with son and mom to attorney to do a contract for this; you can do shared living expenses; in that case there is usually no payment/rental/IRS involvement as to "income".

I am certain you are checking with son his ability, intent, and mom's safety, so I will just leave it now to you to consult and elder law attorney on how to best work this out. Not something you can be wrong about.