He has early onset dementia; he's only 67. He is already emotionally abusive and has become a bully, but he is very good at acting like he is OK to people that aren't around him very much. He's thrown things at my mom and I and pushed her on several occasions. He refuses to go to a psychiatrist and won't do anything to try to make the situation better. I've asked for advice before but the only thing people tell me is call the cops the next time he does anything. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
The only option one has is to protect oneself by not being the target: make yourself unavailable. Remove your presence. Reduce contact. Every time someone is mean, it takes time to recover from it. To be totally un-harmed by mean, abusive words: I don't think it's humanly possible. Words do hurt.
Its a Neurologist he should see. The word Psychiatrist means to most mental problems. A Neurologist is more for neurological problems of the brain, which Dementias are.
If your Mother and Dad will not cooperate with this plan (your mother really) and make this plan with you NOW, then I would say your Mom is in grave danger and by her own choice. When people with a right to make their choices, and make bad ones, there is honestly very little that you can do but speak with them, and in the end call APS for wellness checks.
You need to be keeping careful diaries now.
I am so sorry and I wish you all the best.