My dear Mother is 90yo. She lives in an assisted living center 110 miles away from me. My sister has POA and won't tell me what is going on. I call Mom once a week. Every time I call she is in her room with the door shut. When the nurse brings the phone, Mom yells at them, to get out of the room and SHUT THE DOOR. She is constantly yelling at the aides and nurses when I visit her. Mom is very cranky as she has been for many years. On the phone when I try to visit with her, she talks in monosyllables, I say how is the weather, she says fine, if I ask about the meals, she says just fair, etc. So apparently she is her room all day by herself. She won't read and has no radio or tv. She won't even look out the window. She won't do puzzles. Of course I feel she is depressed but POA says that she isn't. That "our family" doesn't get depression. "We are above that" says the POA. So Mom only leaves her room to go to the beauty shop, meals, and bathing sometimes.
When I ask POA about Mom, POA says, "why do you want to know?" And won't answer my questions. So the way I see it my problem in this situation is the POA and no communication and Mom's mental state and my frustration in not being able to help my Mother.
Unlike some of you, Mom was a very sweet, nice lady when I was growing up until she had a stroke about 25+ years ago. She would never raise her voice when she was young. She considered the feelings of others and volunteered in the community.
I have seen a lawyer but the lawyer says it would be a costly thing to get POA to open up and be cooperative. I am so frustrated. I would like Mom to live closer to me, I would like POA to share info, I want Mom to have some meds to improve her mood. So I am asking the forum, what should I do? Your expert advice is most welcome.