I just want to take her out of there and Grandma can pay with help with all her pension money. Grandma also lied and said she was being financially abused. They found nothing. This lawyer also called threatening my friend and was really unprofessional and upset her greatly.Grandma throws tantrums for hours and sometimes days if you don't give into her demands. For instance she wants her heavy furniture moved repeatedly and screams at my friend all day because she can't move heavy stuff at all. I hurt my knee yanking something in the attic she screamed about for days and then said she never wanted it. She just did that to see if anyone would be stupid enough to get it. She also gets triggered at mealtime. Dinnertime is a nightmare. she watches Bobby Parrish .he is one of those all foods are bad only eat my protein shakes kind of people. Grandma follows her around asking her how long she is going to be in her kitchen closely and gets irrationally mad if you eat anything not bobby approved and won't let let her eat.
If you are the "friend" and this is grandmas home, you need to leave. Then you call APS and tell them you left because you cannot care for someone who abuses you. You feel grandma's problem is Denentia of somekind. Let APS find her the care she needs.
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If she's your friend, is it possible for you to take her in temporarily until she figures out more permanent housing? She can sleep on your couch...
More importantly, how is your friend's mental, physical, and emotional health? Can she be encouraged to escape her indentured servitude and save herself?
Help your friend get the help she needs. Every state has some sort of caregiver assistance program; start there. Or maybe the Caregiver Action Network Help Desk [855-227-3640] can direct her to legal and emotional support for a safe exit strategy that will benefit her and her grandma.
If your friend isn't financially able to move, every State has (paid) job training programs [See How to Find Free Job Training at www.usa.gov/job-training]. And Google has online certificates that can be completed in less than a year. They can also be taken for free. All that to say your friend has options to become financially independent. If that's a concern.
If she's fearful someone will take Grandma's lies seriously, perhaps she could consult with an elder law attorney [www.usa.gov/legal-aid].
You're a good friend. Tap into the resources available here and from organizations like CAN to help your friend.
WHOSE grandma is this? Yours? Your friends? I sure can't tell.
Where does everyone live, and with whom?
Who called APS and WHY?
You say you want to take your friend out of there? Out of WHERE? Does she live with the grandmother?
To be honest, if this is not YOUR grandmother, you need to step away from this entirely.
Let your friend know that you have a comfy couch to stay on until she can get on her feet if she lives with and is being abused by her own or someone else's grandmother.
But for the life of me I have ZERO idea what this situation is all about really. I think if you slow down you can tell us this story in a way that would more fully inform us so we could offer some decent advice.
There are many meds available for this behavior with dementia. I suggest, once you regain custody of the woman, that you call her doctor and ask about them. Good luck, you're going to need it.
Sounds to me Grandma has Dementia and its time for Longterm care which is expensive. If she lives with friend, maybe time for friend to ask her to leave. If friend lives with Grandmom then hopefully she has a place to go. Social Workers are usually associated with investigating complaints not lawyers. Lawyers may come in when the State takes over guardianship.