Follow
Share

I just want to take her out of there and Grandma can pay with help with all her pension money. Grandma also lied and said she was being financially abused. They found nothing. This lawyer also called threatening my friend and was really unprofessional and upset her greatly.Grandma throws tantrums for hours and sometimes days if you don't give into her demands. For instance she wants her heavy furniture moved repeatedly and screams at my friend all day because she can't move heavy stuff at all. I hurt my knee yanking something in the attic she screamed about for days and then said she never wanted it. She just did that to see if anyone would be stupid enough to get it. She also gets triggered at mealtime. Dinnertime is a nightmare. she watches Bobby Parrish .he is one of those all foods are bad only eat my protein shakes kind of people. Grandma follows her around asking her how long she is going to be in her kitchen closely and gets irrationally mad if you eat anything not bobby approved and won't let let her eat.

Are you the friend? If so, please do not write in the 3rd party. Seems like I am not the only one who is confused by the whole question.

If you are the "friend" and this is grandmas home, you need to leave. Then you call APS and tell them you left because you cannot care for someone who abuses you. You feel grandma's problem is Denentia of somekind. Let APS find her the care she needs.
.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

How old is this friend? Is she a minor? Does she have a mental health disability? Why can't she figure out to leave the Grandmother's house and THEN report her to APS herself?

If she's your friend, is it possible for you to take her in temporarily until she figures out more permanent housing? She can sleep on your couch...
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Grandma is a worse danger than the friend, who should have packed up and left yesterday.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to PeggySue2020
Report

You called APS because you think Grandma is a danger to herself and others? Has her physical and mental health been assessed?

More importantly, how is your friend's mental, physical, and emotional health? Can she be encouraged to escape her indentured servitude and save herself?

Help your friend get the help she needs. Every state has some sort of caregiver assistance program; start there. Or maybe the Caregiver Action Network Help Desk [855-227-3640] can direct her to legal and emotional support for a safe exit strategy that will benefit her and her grandma.

If your friend isn't financially able to move, every State has (paid) job training programs [See How to Find Free Job Training at www.usa.gov/job-training]. And Google has online certificates that can be completed in less than a year. They can also be taken for free. All that to say your friend has options to become financially independent. If that's a concern.

If she's fearful someone will take Grandma's lies seriously, perhaps she could consult with an elder law attorney [www.usa.gov/legal-aid].

You're a good friend. Tap into the resources available here and from organizations like CAN to help your friend.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to ravensdottir
Report

Is this your Grandma, or your friend's Grandma? Either way, why don't you have your friend leave and move in with your for a few weeks while she sets up an alternative living and job situation for herself. As your friend leaves Grandma's house SHE can call APS and report that Grandma is living alone with no one to take care of her and needs help. THEN APS can go into the situation and get Grandma settled with some help who is not your friend. And your friend can put together her own life without Grandma's abuse. I wish you both well with this.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MG8522
Report

You are all over the place.
WHOSE grandma is this? Yours? Your friends? I sure can't tell.
Where does everyone live, and with whom?
Who called APS and WHY?
You say you want to take your friend out of there? Out of WHERE? Does she live with the grandmother?

To be honest, if this is not YOUR grandmother, you need to step away from this entirely.
Let your friend know that you have a comfy couch to stay on until she can get on her feet if she lives with and is being abused by her own or someone else's grandmother.
But for the life of me I have ZERO idea what this situation is all about really. I think if you slow down you can tell us this story in a way that would more fully inform us so we could offer some decent advice.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

duplicate post
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to ravensdottir
Report

You called Adult PROTECTIVE Services on grandma's caregiver and wonder why they treated her like a criminal? Your grandmother displays erratic, ridiculously demanding demented behavior, yet you're reporting her caregiver.....for what, exactly? Financial abuse? Why can't you go and "get your grandmother out of there" yourself so you can be the one to put up with her tantrums and demands to move heavy furniture? I'm sure your friend is now more than ready to quit.

There are many meds available for this behavior with dementia. I suggest, once you regain custody of the woman, that you call her doctor and ask about them. Good luck, you're going to need it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
lealonnie1 Dec 27, 2025
I'm sorry if I misunderstood who's grandma you're talking about.....its important to write clear and concise posts!
(2)
Report
We need more info. How old is Grandma? Does this friend live with her? Is Grandma in her own home? You called APS why? Do you feel grandma needs help by placing her?

Sounds to me Grandma has Dementia and its time for Longterm care which is expensive. If she lives with friend, maybe time for friend to ask her to leave. If friend lives with Grandmom then hopefully she has a place to go. Social Workers are usually associated with investigating complaints not lawyers. Lawyers may come in when the State takes over guardianship.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
Snowmiser3 Dec 27, 2025
Yes and if grandma is mad at her she ground s her from leaving her room to pee shower eat. She also just laced around with a flashlight and Refuses to let people walk by her. She tried to stop me from leaving.
(0)
Report
And?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to ML4444
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter