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You have a right to be tired! You'll still be a part of the care team if she goes into a home, so don't let guilt stop you.
She will have to pay from her assets until they are spent down to qualify for financial assistance. That can happen fast, depending on how much money she has. It's worth it. Look for a good home, help her with the transition, visit and be part of her care team, and pay for her care from her funds until she qualifies for Medicaid. It truly sounds as though it's time.
Take care of yourself and your marriage,
Carol
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