I have been working with a family and feeding the mother and father every Saturday and Sunday evenings, hence I have not had a break for a year.
The son still lives with mother and father, and finds a way to always criticize me.
The mother, I believe and they are both 93 years old is starting to show the very beginning signs of alzheimer's or is plain exhausted, he had a tumor removed out of his spine a year ago, but the mother is getting or showing signes of alzheimer's, and I say that from a non medical opinion, but also because I have been a caregiver for 10 plus years.
She is being more critical, she is stating things not remembering, then when I mention that she told me this, she FLIES off he wall, I immediate apologize, and we are talking about the kind of depends her husband sleeps in the gray ones or the white ones. If I only had a tape recorder. I understand that with the elder you need to be kind, and understanding, but tonight, this is the sixth week that she has changed her mind. Her SON 58 year old whom I get his dinner too, and he must be too busy to help mom and dad, as well as all of the others because I have no one to call and ask what the rules are. When I call the daughter whom hired me. She says oh gosh I don't know. She is so busy she does not call back for two weeks. He has dementia, she is really getting cranky and tired, and I don't blame her but have asked other caregivers about them, and they say that I am a miracle to have worked their as long as I have. This family pays me then tells me that this is costing them so much money? (Guilt guilt guilt).
I was told to show up between 5:40 and 6:00 so I am there at 5:40 and was told the other day I am late all the time. So, let me ask all of the caregivers out there not working for family your family, and getting paid, Is a caregiver day in and day out, supposed to just melt and become a wall flower, or move on. I have had caregiver burnout and it just about literally killed me. The sad thing is the person that I am supposed to be caring for the husband, has become so nice, and never has said a mean think to me.
The son has no right to tell me anything, he treats his parents horrible, and he just crabs around there as if poor me. The mother is embarrassed to have him staying there, she says how would you like to have my life, you can have it.
I am not going head to head, I am polite, and I am saying that, this is the issue, and the main caregiver will not tell me and says it is your deal, and she said I tell you what to do, she does, and she tells me something different about his britches every night.
So there is only one person I can talk to, the mother, who has a different decision every weekend night. She said typing up caregiver rubles would help.
She haa become really controlling, and it is hard when no one will talk to me about anything. This family is nuts, and I have been putting up with it for a year.
The 58 year old son said I should never have said "but Leslie (not real name), I am not understanding as last night you said to use that other brand, perhaps I am missing something). Yet he just got home from a two week trip and right in front of them he says, well now I realize why I stay away from here.
They do fight a lot at the age of 93 and ignore me? I cook lovely dinners every time I am there, yet I always here about the things that I do not do. Like put the fork on the correct side of the tv tray. my goodness, is it time for me to say goodbye to this couple. The other main thing is the main caregiver will not and I mean she says "I cannot tell you about Max's personal issues, as I am the main caregiver, if you need to know the correct way have Leslie tell you.
I feel like I am losing my mind.
On top of that I stay until 8:30 8:45 and charge her for two hours, and I hear complaints, so why is the helpless son saying that I should always agree with his mother, because (it is not my place to get things correct), it is my place to do things right). I really disagree with that