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Oly Oly ump free, who else has taken in their Alheimers parent into their home? Working , then being primary caretaker is so difficult.

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Hi Polly... the key is this: your parents health care has to be more than they bring home. The home doesnt matter as we sold my Moms and use that money for her daycare now. So lets say you send both parents to a medical daycare and its $3,000 a month. IF their SS checks are less than that, you should reapply. Does this make sense to you? They dont give money if your parents arent receiving care, that doesnt include nursing homes. Write again if you have questions.
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It sounds like we can share information here. I'm interested in the Aid and assistace for Veterans. I applied, for my father who is a Vet. and was denied. They have a home, we are renting out, and they both receive social security each month. The response was they were not approved, and make too much. Do we need to sell everything?
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Hi Pollyjuicegranny, thanks for writing. Nice to talk with others in our position. I also have a great supportive husband and our children are adults, and my Mom goes to daycare. I work while Mom is at daycare but its $80 a day, double the cost! I made out a caregivers conttract with my laywer and I get paid to take care of Mom from the sale of her house. When its gone, we can apply for medicaid and get some help. What medications do you recommend for sundowners, we tried a lot. Depakote is the best for anger but since the strokes, her alzheimers has declined and we still have her wanting to Go Home and she tries to get out. I could increase the depakote but am trying not to overmedicate. We get Mom to dance her legs and arms and laugh with music and she has fabulously funny moods, and very bad moods too. I just got her approved for the Aide and Attendent funds because my Dad was a Veteran and its going to pay for 1/2 of daycare. What do you do on weekends? Mornings before work? Do you have any time off with your husband? Mom is also incontinent and would drop her pants at night and go on the floor. I sewed elastic straps onto her pajama bottoms and cover them with an extra pj top and it solved it, She cant get her bottoms down now , ite been a life saver. Of course we do get wet beds sometimes still thru her pajamas, but no floods and I can sleep better knowing I dont have to wake up to hearing her pee on the floor and worry about her falling in it!
I hired someone to get Mom to daycare because I go to work early and then I pick her up after work. Weekends are all about Mom and her needs and I sometimes feel like I have my life on hold with my husband, but I also do not want a nursing home. I commend you for doing the same and with 2 parents, its got to be harder. With medicaid, people at the daycare I met, they get free daycare, 2 hours am/pm 10-4 on saturdays and 9-3 on sundays off. I think thats incredible. I cannot babysit my grandchildren with Mom, she is too much work, and I miss being able to just go out and see my kids, or go anyplace, just when I want to, without a concrete plan in place. I wouldnt even need a lot of time, just some of it on the weekend would be nice. I pay $20 an hour to get out of the house and thats if I can get my morning experienced trusting alz caretaker only. I think you can take like $400 a month for rent on medicaid, not sure, but when your parents house does sell. Your brothers will get their share if its not legalized that it owed to you, did you take care of that? My siblings live close and take mom for 3 hours every 2-3 months ! Hardly worth the time. They do nothing and deserve nothing, and how they can live with themselves is beyond me. Thanks , love sharing stories and ideas. My mom is in late stages AD but sometimes knows me, and can walk maybe 25 feet before needing to sit. Some days she is great ALL day and some days she just whines and cries all day that she is cold, wants her husband and mother, it breaks my heart. I spend hours talking, singing, and touching her to occupy her mind, as she can no longer do anything.
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Both my parents live in my home now. It's been a year now..I"m going to claim them on my taxes as dependents next year..
Dad has Parkenson's and mother has Alzhiemer's.(Stage 3)
I was lucky, my husband is very supportive, because we both still work full time.
You need to apply for FMLA (family Disability Leave Act) as needed if you work.
We are both nearing retirement age. Our children are all grown and flew the coop!!! We hadn;t plan on becomimg a care giver at 60. My husband barely was getting use to being alone again after raising our 6 children.
But I was the only daughter, and felt guilty with mom in this cramped smelly, nursing home when she got a bad bladder infection, and even more confused. Dad did his best in caring for her but he is 86 and couldn't walk anymore.
Well, I called a family meeting and of course my brothers didn't want to help out...in any way.
My folks don't have any money, but for their social securitiy. They owe more for their home than what it is worth, so untill economy comes around we rented out thehouse, eventially we sell the house,
But most of rental money pay's toward taking mother to an Adult Day Care Center M-F .It has been a god-send taking her during the day
She loves it there, and they even bathe her M-W-F... We pay approx. $45.00 Per day, or 800.00 per month average but it gives me Respite time.And you can write that off in taxes.
. We turned one empty bedroom to a sitting room. Another room for a bed room and they use a bathroom that we put up grasp bars and utilize adapted equipment for personal hygiene, like an elevated toilet seat and a bench in tub /shower with hand held water nosell. You may need a portable bedside potty.
I clean and santize everything every day, Wash laundry...because Mom is Incontent and goes potty every where and any where. Right now she wears pull ups , and needs supervision continuosly in the evenings.Sometimes she dosen't even recognise what a toilet is.
We take walks, garden and draw pictures.Just keep her busy and engaged
.Invest in child gates,they really work. As well as night lights.
Talk with her Doctor about prescribing a medication to help take the restless and agitation edge at night, for sundowners syndrome.
It takes alot of work, but have someone come into your home when you need a break, like "visiting angels" My Dad is a veteran, and receives some benifits, that helps pay me with caring for them at my home.
If you had children, it's just like caring for children...
Most of all, Have a good sense of humor.
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