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He likes this woman 40 years old and he 80 years old.......Her husband seems to be a problem too....I live in Florida Dad in Kentucky... His sisters are tell me he is broke and can't pay his bills...He tells me it is not the woman it is her husband .What to do?

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It's difficult saving them from themselves, if not impossible. And there are vultures around every corner in this world that will take advantage of the weak and confused. Bradford Exchange was one of them I had to fight to keep away from my father. It's hard if you don't have POA. If you can't get it you may have to just sneak behind his back and watch how much money he is spending or giving away. Its a never ending battle.
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Take steps to gain Guardianship, now. It took me about 3 years to get this done. My 83 year old Dad has Vascular Dementia and lost the ability to handle his finances, but you would never know that anything was wrong just talking to him. He was scammed by a 40 year old woman, but because he could carry on a good conversation, the social worker with APS said there wasn't anything they could do. The judge finally awarded me Guardianship when Dad was found without lights, water, heat & groceries last winter.
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Do you suspect he may be having an affair with this woman? A similar thing happened with my friend's 70 yo dad. They found out that he was having an affair with a 20 something year old female, and that he actually bought her a car and a condo!
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I f your concern is genuine ,you do what has to be done with what ever and how ever you have to do with. No doubt shallow thinking people will be mad, jealous, disappointed, and spread unkind words But there will be a few that will say they were wondering when you were going to tackle the problem . Some time you have to bite your tong, take a deep breath act very mean.
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lkclady: Ahh, gold digger much? Many elders fall into the trap of someone taking them for all they're worth! Talk to a lawyer. This is elder abuse!
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You first need to go and have a heart-to-heart with Dad. Is he being blackmailed over some past transgression? Then you need to assess the damage to his account. If he gave the money freely as a gift, then you probably won't get the money back.
Thirdly, you will need to convince him to get someone to help with his checkbook, making a paper budget in which his monthly bills are paid first, and what's left over can be pocket money. Keep in touch with whomever helps him with this, even if it's not an official POA on financial matters. If his sisters are concerned, one of them might be able to check up on him.
Have you considered moving him to FL to be near you -- and get him away from this woman and her husband?
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I went through this with my dad & we are in Florida. I told the women that "someone" was taking advantage of my dads kindness I felt & I was thinking of calling adult protective services because it was wrong. It stopped but partly because he got a girlfriend. He still spends money but not a couple thousand a mo now he may pay her light bill they go out to eat but she spends time with him & does things with him like a gf should. We like her. He spends more on her than we like but it isnt anything crazy & it makes him happy.
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The 78 yr old do they have a POA? The POA can be the bad guy & tell the sisters whats what from now on. I don't know what you mean by cut the 1 sister off who may run off or kill theirself. What is cut off mean? They are grown & that is the bottom line if they want to get mad then get mad tell them. You don't let anyone abuse the elderly for any reason. If they say im gonna kill myself then call 911 on their ass. If they want to be childish & run off then so be it!
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I can't tell you how many elders have been ripped off by people. You need to go to Kentucky to see what is happening. Confront the couple, tell them that your dad cannot afford to give them money. Explain that they need to pay him back and you many need to get legal assistance. Let them know you are aware of the situation. You may not get the money back, but it may stop them from abusing your father.

Does you dad have dementia? My mom was giving hundreds to charities every month, with no recollection of who she wrote a check to. People from church befriended my mom and she became way to dependent on them. They did some unethical things (long story) and I literally put her in the car and brought her to my home state. Unfortunately with many elders, they are lonely and when someone shows an interest in them, they are so happy to have friends that they can get taken advantage of.

Sounds like you need to assess you dad's situation and make some changes. It happens to most of us with elder parents. Sounds like dad can no longer manages his finances. Does anyone have POA. I would also call social services maybe they can help out.
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Regardless of whether he is mentally competent it is elder abuse to be taking advantage of him and taking money from him that he does not have to give. I would get social services involved. But I agree a trip to Kentucky making your presence felt would be supportive for your dad and make a point to this woman and her husband that you are taking note of what is happening. I would certainly make sure that every penny he has given her is documented.
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Well if he is "broke", then how can he loan this married woman money? Sounds like a triangle, your father is not completely competent, and his sisters need to intervene since they live in KY. You could also make a trip there because what is discussed on the phone is usually never the reality. If he is competent, there is nothing you can do about his money.
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I agree that you won't be able to do much unaided from Florida, but you can get initial advice here. I live in Florida too. Whether or not your father has Alzheimer's, a phone call to the Alzheimer's Association will get you information on how to start, and referrals for financial advice. I hope your father is eligible to sign financial power of attorney over to you or someone you trust.
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The reality is, unless your dad is incompetent, he can legally do what he wants with his money. If he cooperates with you and willingly allows you to have POA control of his finances, you could surely take action.

If he is incompetent and you have medical evaluation behind you, you may have to take the difficult and uneasy step of filing for conservatorship/guardianship.

As you won't be able to do much unaided from Florida, you will need to make a showing of your physical presence in Kentucky.
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Time to take a trip to Kentucky and see what the heck is going on. Maybe just telling this couple that there's been a record of everything they've 'borrowed' from dad, and upon his death they will have to pay it back to the family. I don't know, unless your dad has an advocate (which ALL seniors should have anyway) looking out for his best interests, he's in trouble.
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Is someone in FL looking out for your dad? They should take over his finances for a while and see what kind of damage this awful couple has caused while exploiting your dad.

Get on this right away before your dad finds himself penniless.
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