Follow
Share

Have you ever wished that your loved one with Alzheimer's would die?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I have to say, my grandma has dementia. My mom for years prayed that grandma would die before her. She didn't want grandma to outlive her because number one, the care would fall to me and number two, she was afraid Grandma's care would need more than we could handle. My mom passed away back in January from cancer and my grandma lived on. One of my mom's last statements to me was that her only regret was that she didn't put grandma into a home so I wouldn't have to take care of her. I don't think it's wrong to wish someone who is no longer having good quality of life, to pass on. I think it's humane in some ways for people who are unable to enjoy life, unable to remember life, and even the tougher things such as unable to eat, drink or walk, to pass away peacefully.

When my mom had received news she was at the end of her life, she herself prayed hard and shared her wishes with us, that she didn't want to linger. She was in pain, was bedridden due to a broken femur that would never hear having been eaten by tumors, and even though she was coherent until the day before she passed away, she knew she didn't want to live in the world where she was no longer eating, no longer able to care for herself and not able to get better. People who have dementia and alzeimers and Parkinsons do not get better. They don't have the ability to often times tell us their wishes. I do not think it's wrong to wish they pass away and no longer suffer. I think that only shows how much we care for them to wish for them no longer to be in such a terrible state. Don't feel bad.

I have to admit, I myself pray every night and day that my grandma passes away in her sleep peacefully before the dementia makes her unable to walk, eat and talk. I worry everyday that I will wake up and find her alive but unable to walk and having to be forced to put her in a home where I can't be with her every day and more importantly where she can't live life the way it should be lived. But I also understand dementia does that. I can only pray that she passes before she gets further along in her stages.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I look after mum cause i have to sort out her meds & she has many things wrong with her that is horrible ... dementia, parkinsons, depression, panic attacks, constant talking, bad behavioural problems & i care for her to help her medically but the moment she is not capable with Alzeimers which is serious she needs 100% proper nurses caring for her! No no question about it! When their faculties are gone & they are very very sick it is cruel if they are not placed with professionals! Its the only correct thing to do as professionals are fully trained & they do shift work, nurses are fully trained and you keep your sanity & healthy body!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I love him, and I don't want him to die now, but I'm terrified he'll still be here in 20 years! I want him to die a month after he becomes bedridden. Are you listening, God?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I think it's common to wish someone would die. Their suffering would end and the stress and strain and anxiety of caring for them would end as well. I don't believe there's any shame or guilt in wishing for the end of a very long road.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

That is a common concern because caring for someone with major memory issues is so very difficult. Here's an article that has over 300 replies https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Why-you-secretly-want-elderly-parent-to-die-139321.htm
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.