Will the staff of the ALF be calling me often about mom's moods, paranoia and delusions? I've heard they do that sometimes.

Mom finally moved into a one bedroom apartment in an assisted living facility today. She was a mess. She said all the doctors and nurses have told her she does not have dementia or Alzheimer's, but she "might have it in five years". She's so forgetful she could have been told any number of things.

I was told by a psychiatrist she had dementia of the Alzheimer’s type and she needed 24/7 supervision. The only in-home care I could find was so expensive she would have run out of money far too quickly, with no guarantees the people would keep showing up on time.

The hospital and county social workers never came through with any ideas or advice, even after I suggested the only solution would be for her to be a ward of the state since she refuses options that are safe, possible, and within her budget. She was treated in the behavioral unit, then she was sent to a regular hospital room when she refused to be placed in a nursing home.

The hospital paperwork said she has major depressive disorder, severe; and major neurocognitive disorder, mild (aka dementia).

My sister and I both said "mild my foot."

She hated everything in the clean, cheerful assisted living home, had a tantrum, and said ugly things about what a horrible person I am for wanting to get rid of her and make my life easy.

I toured and chose the facility, which is an ALF with an MC, after mom finally said "Okay I'll move into assisted living if it means I won't be isolated." I had to move at the speed of light before she changed her mind.

Last night we got a notary and witnesses at the hospital and she signed me as her primary POA for medical and financial, my sister is secondary. Today I wrote the first month's check from mom's account. My husband and I tried to get her belongings unpacked in her room but she was spewing hate louder and louder, so I said, "come on let's go." We stopped at the front desk and I let them know she was having a fit, and the receptionist said she would send someone to her room.

Now I'm in my home, in the quietness, almost disbelieving.

Is she really safely installed in a care home after all these years of unbearable stress? When will my phone start ringing, and how often? Will she be mean and negative to the other residents in the dining area? Will they decide to move her to memory care next week? Will they evict her for disruptive behaviors?

Am I actually going to SLEEP tonight without a sick feeling in my stomach?

My sincere heartfelt thanks to everyone on this forum. I would have been lost without your advice and support. I still have work to do with her finances, property and healthcare, but I don't feel like I am alone on an island. I pray for us all to enjoy many moments of well-deserved peace in our lives.