Follow
Share

I had to place my mom in a nursing home recently because I could no longer take care of her in her home even with all the extra help. I'd like to know if anyone has experienced taking their loved one home overnight for a visit and it worsened the dementia. The social worker is advising against it stating that her dementia, confusion will get worse if I do that. I can't imagine not taking her out if only for the day but preferably overnight. I understand that changing her environment could worsen her dementia but is this short period going to make her happy? She's at a point where she doesn;t remember what happened an hour ago but is happy doing things with me in the moment. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
be very very careful introducing mom to anything new especially as a new resident of a nursing home. make anything you do the very tiniest adjustment. try something simple like walking her to the end of the corridor to look out of the window for a few minutes. At the tiniest sign of agitation immediately return her to her room.
it may give you satisfaction to take Mom out but with her lack of memory she won't remember anyway so think to yourself who is benefiting.. An elder in a nursing home whose brain is intact naturally would enjoy being taken out and overnight visits but that is a whole different scenario.. Definitly no home visits for reluctant NH residents.
I had one hospice patient of sound mind who spent every week end at her son's home in her old room and in that case it worked well until she was too sick to make the trip. this same patient took care of her own personal needs as long as she could including getting up and dressed every day and making her own bed
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree with everyone who has posted. Bring your mom her favorite treat or photos or walk her around the building or to the yard outside, if that's available. Make her new "home" the best it can be. Have a little party in her room or do her nails or bring her a new top...don't take her back to her old haunts. It will only confuse or distress her when she goes back to the nursing home.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

If the social worker advises against it I wouldn’t do it. I so wanted to bring Mom home for thanksgiving, but I knew it would be too much for her to handle. So I brought her out for a day the week prior for a nice lunch just with DH and myself. Disaster. She didn’t know where she was, or why she was there. She wasn’t happy and we were a little frustrated that our big effort was a bust. It was a learning experience for us. I brought her back to NH early, and we agreed we wouldn’t do that again. She was still a little off the next day and actually wheeled herself onto the elevator and was found wheeling around another floor. She’d never tried to get on the elevator alone before. The wander guard was installed on her wheelchair that day. Maybe you could take her around the grounds for some fresh air, or out for ice cream if she could handle a short car ride. I’m even hesitant to take Mom outside now but with the wander guard and increasing weakness I’m not so worried about it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Joyred1388, i agree 100% with Countrymouse above. And the Social Worker is correct when he/she says that your Mom's dementia would become worse. The Social Worker have been down this road hundreds of time, they know what they are talking about.

When my Dad moved to senior living, with some sundowning, I never brought Dad back to my house. I would have loved to, but it would have only brought up sad memories because my Mom had passed a year prior, and they never visited without each other. And eventually down the line, create more confusion for him.

Oh, Dad did go outside of the facility for his doctor appointments and hair cuts, but he went with his private caregiver. Afterwards they would stop at Burger King as a treat. Therefore no memories of my house nor the house my parents had owned in the same neighborhood.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Joyred, honestly and truly it would be *much* better to give that time to your mother in the nursing home. All the more because she has only recently gone there and needs time to adjust and settle. If you keep taking her out it really is going to add to her confusion and make it harder for her to orient herself in the NH.

Make the most of her being happy to be with you; and what's more you can use that to create happy associations for her within the NH - you're there, so it must be a nice, safe place for her to be.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.