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after his surgery he can not come to my house My husband will not allow this. Can I get help from the state to sit with him at his assisted living home?

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Often after surgery a stay in a rehab facility (transitional care unit, or "swing bed") is recommended, to continue healing. In this way your brother would get the additional attention he will need. You can visit him there as often and long as you like. I am not aware of any funds available to pay you to provide this extra care.

Find out from his doctor whether some kind of rehab stay is likely to be recommended after the surgery.
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