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My mother is presently in Hospice care. My two siblings who reside in my Mothers house have copies of her Will. I live a little bit away. When I ask questions in reference to the Will I am told “it is divided equally”. When she passes everything is to be divided between the remaining children. When I ask for a copy I am ignored. If we are all listed as beneficiaries I know I am entitled to a copy but I can not understand why they will not give me a copy.


Sadly I can not help but be suspicious of my siblings but was curious to input from others on any possible reason they may be not wanting me to have a copy?


As far as I know my Mother only has the house, no other assets. She has a bank account but my sister has POA & I am fairly convinced there will be nothing to divide once my Mother passes.


if the Will does indeed state everything is to be divided equally then why would they not let me see a copy? I can not argue or contest the Will until my Mother’s passing correct?

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No you are not entitled to copy of the Will prior to death. When the Will goes through Probate you will have access to it.

I am the Executrix of Mum's Will, but I have not seen the document. I have an idea of what it says, based on conversations with her, but I have not seen a copy. I do know where to find her copy. I also am the one who will arrange her memorial service. She has already prepaid for cremation.

If the time comes I am her POA for finances and medical. I know where copies of all the documents are held and the lawyer who holds the originals. He was a great help when my step dad was hospitalized and Mum needed to activate her POA's over him.

Lastly, but not covered in the paperwork, I will look after any pets that she may have when she passes.
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A will is the wrong place to put your wishes for your funeral. Lawyers advise against this because the will is not usually opened until AFTER the funeral.
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I personally believe you have every right to be suspicious of your siblings. If no one has the right to see the will why have they both seen it but not you?

You stated that they had the executor changed to your sister & that she has POA.

I’m only stating my experience when I state that my mother had her trust set up to divide things equally between my brother & myself but when I had a falling out with my brother he took my mother ( who has dementia ) to a lawyer to draft a new DPOA & to change the trust to 100% him against my mother’s previous wishes.

Some siblings are greedy & spiteful!
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I have to agree with Worried, no one should have a copy of the will. As POA I had all Moms important papers. Yes, I knew what was in the Will, I was there when it was drawn up. I was also the Executor. But I would never have given the beneficiaries a copy. It really is no ones business. At the time of Probate all beneficiaries will be notified and given a copy. The original is filed at the County seat and the Executor gets a copy.

So, don't worry that you don't have a copy. You can request one when its made public.
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My brother was asking about moms finances too and I just said "if there is anything left, it will be split equally between the two of us"...and left it at that.  He doesn't help AT ALL even though in the beginning I begged him to take on some of the responsibility.  He doesn't care if she needs assistance, but asks about what will be left for him.  It pisses me off and I don't care to elaborate any of the details of her finances to him. 

If any of this is sounding familiar to you...that might be why they don't care to take the time to give you a copy of the will.

You mentioned that you live "a little bit away".   Why did you mention that?
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BogMcQ5 Nov 25, 2019
i suppose I mention I live a little bit away to let it be know I am not involved in my Mother’s physical care. Anything dealing with my Mothers medical care I have never questioned & credit my Siblings greatly with/for. They make the best choices given to them. And I am fully aware how draining it can be physically, emotionally & mentally.
Even thou I do not live close I would talk daily via phone with my Mother. As her health declined we spoke less, 3-4 times a week. Until it got to the point my only contact with her was through my siblings.
My Sister told me that Mother was better off financially then she appears. As well went on to mention the 2 checks. Not living close or being involved in daily events I knew I had to trust them to be making the best decisions.
Only once did they mention about discussing arrangements & that was in the beginning of my Mother’s decline. Now that it is getting much closer to that time they tell me we should discuss but instead tell me there are no previous arrangements or funds available. & what their plans are too do. I can only tell of conversations my Mother had personally with me not them. They indeed may vary.
i presented & offered another option which only my Sister has expressed a disinterest in.
I guess in my ignorance I was hopeful that some how some way in the Will my Mother had it written her final wishes.
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Maybe since your Mom has not even passed on yet your siblings are disturbed by you even asking and making it a thing. It will be a thing soon enough. Wishing you family harmony for your Mother's sake.
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BogMcQ5 Nov 25, 2019
Thank you, I greatly appreciate your response.
For personal ( & no doubt petty ) reasons there is bad blood between my siblings & I. I have always had conversations with my Mother up until her more recent decline in health. Now my only knowledge is through them. I try to believe what I am told but sadly too much bad blood makes me always suspicious. Medically, I do not question any choice or action they have made. I know they are doing the best with the choices they are given. I am also aware of how draining it is on them physically, emotionally & mentally so I give them great credit when it comes to Medical.
Financially is a different story for I know they were financially draining on my Mother.
i know I should address these things personally but know no matter what I say or they say offenses will be taken. Unfortunately questions/thoughts do rumble through my mind. I thought perhaps I could gain insight by asking some questions. I know I should ask them but for peace for my Mother I don’t wish to cause more stress.
anyhow, long winded ... but I thank you! Greatly!
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The will is her personal property and no one has a right to it, not even the beneficiaries of the will. Upon her death the executor of the will must file the will. At that point it is a public document. And I am assuming this is a will, because if a Trust then not even a filing is required on death, but by law the Trustee does have obligations to those inheriting the Trust. So for now, you cannot have the slightest idea whether you stand to have financial gain upon the death of your parent or whether you do not. So just move on with life, unless there is some greater issue afoot here.
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BogMcQ5 Nov 25, 2019
i thank you for your response & insight, I do greatly appreciate it!
I realize my post may not appear as such but whatever my Mother has left in her Will I do not consider it my financial gain. I have & will always consider it her Money for her needs or wishes.
My belief is it is indeed a Will. I was told that the only time the Will has been updated or changed was after a sibling had passed some years ago. My Mother when her health was first beginning to decline had told me her Lawyer was the executor & would take responsibilities of her bills. She did not want my sister having any knowledge or access to her accounts. She as well had mentioned she had changed passwords to her accounts & gave that info to my Brother. I never mentioned this to my siblings as I felt she told me in confidence. As my Mother began to decline more my Sister was given POA which surprised me that it wasn’t my Brother as my Mother had hinted. But I figure that was a discussion between them. My Sister told me that the executor has been listed as a former secretary of the Lawyer. They had that changed because of a lot of cost that would involve when they ( my siblings ) were there & can take care of it themselves. And she became executor. She said when this was done she & my brother had copies. Perhaps because I was not there or living in the household I never received or viewed the Will.
They tell me there are no funds or arrangements for my Mother passing. Speaking to a few people I was told that in some Wills it is stated what the individual is wanting done when they pass.
I suppose I am grasping at straws but I was hopeful there was something of that in the Will.

Your suggestion to move on with life is noted.
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Honestly...of you are entitled to even see her will at this point. You aren’t entitled to anything until she’s gone. They have no business giving you a copy of the will or making copies for themselves.
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worriedinCali Nov 25, 2019
oops...this should say “NONE of youu are entitled to even see the will at this point”.
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