Follow
Share

10 years ago I moved in with my Mom to care for her after her stroke. She has many health problems including dementia and cannot be left alone. I work full time and also kept my own home, where my adult son lives, and that is the address I use as my primary residence. I have not had a break in 10 years, and have managed all of Mom's healthcare. Mom has paid caregiving from the county (DuPage, IL) while I work. She did not qualify for Medicaid. Mom is now on hospice and declining. My brother is her POA. Does anyone know if Mom's home will be transferred to me when she passes? I know we should have set this all up 10 years ago. Would have done a LOT of things differently, like insisting upon a few hours break every week so I could spend time with my kids. I don't have money for an elder law attorney. My brother just says he doesn't know what's going to happen. So I'm left hanging here. Can anyone advise me on this?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Dees1963, you said you can't afford to hire an elder-law attorney, but if your mother can afford it, your brother with POA may be able to hire one for her to try to get her affairs in order before she passes. If mother can't afford an attorney, either, than you should contact the Legal Aid office in your state. Legal Aid attorneys provide legal help for financially-qualified people who need it. Your clarification that your mother has a lot of unpaid medical bills is important because after death her house may have to be sold to pay those bills. And having four other siblings may complicate things further, as many people find out that uninvolved/uninterested siblings suddenly become very interested after a parent's death. Get legal help ASAP. I feel for you. Best wishes and good luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

In the state of NJ when there is no will, a family member can go to the Probate office and get Administer over the estate. Executor is only someone that is mentioned in the will. The state gets involved when there is no will. You will need to know what makes up Moms estate and debts. Those debts will have to be satisfied with Moms money or the sale of the house. Then, what is left gets split between the six kids. If ur siblings agree to give you their share, nice.

When my sister died without a will, the state assigned an administrator. The state came in and told my Mom what each piece of furniture should be sold for. The lawyer handled everything. The state of MD got a % I think.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you all. I think we've both just been overwhelmed with it all, and no idea what to do. I've discussed getting an elder care attorney in the past but he just hasn't done it. We have 4 other siblings but they are not involved. No one would have a problem with me getting Mom's house. I know Mom has a lot of debt from unpaid medical. I don't think there are any liens but I can't say for sure. She is declining quickly, not being able to eat or drink. Now I'm having medical issues and big co-pay bills trying to figure out what's going on with my own health (yay, cruddy insurance). So I'm really strapped for funds and now we have to come up with money for funeral expenses, which no one has. Really wish I hadn't gone to the doctor and incurred these bills, just makes everything worse. I was hoping to sell my home and stay at mom's using whatever I could get from my house to pay off some of my debt - the housing market tanked and I couldn't find a buyer several years ago and it's not much better in my area now. I might make $5k off it if I'm lucky and I've owned/carried a mortgage on the home for 25 years! Losing my beloved Mom is going to be hard enough...not being sure of where I'm going to land just makes it all that much worse.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

As explained, POA does not give your brother any influence over what happens with your mother's estate once she has passed away: POA automatically ceases on the death of the person being cared for.

But one has to ask. If you have been your mother's primary caregiver for all of these years, what precisely has your brother been doing with the authority your mother gave him? At the very least, he can reread and send you a copy of his POA document. Could be it does give him the authority to do *something* to assist you, albeit belatedly.

Also... this may not have happened in your own mother's case, but very often people do sort out wills, funeral instructions, powers of attorney and healthcare directives all in a lump, as one of those disagreeable tasks that we all ought to "get round to" at some point. So if your mother did at least go to the trouble of creating a power of attorney some years ago, it might be worth asking if she didn't at the same time attend to her will. Is your brother being evasive because he just hasn't stirred himself to find out, or is he quite sure there isn't one?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Dees1963, if you do an internet search for "Illinois intestate succession" you'll see that if your mother has no will, no trust, and has made no other provision for her estate, then if she doesn't have a husband and you and your brother are her only children, you will each share 50% of her estate. Your brother's POA authority will be terminated and he will have no more say about her estate than you will.  Either of you or someone else could be appointed as your mother's estate executor by the probate court and the executor would be required to follow the intestate succession laws (unless, I suppose, there was a signed and notarized waiver by an heir).

I saw in your profile that you've been providing your mother's care for 10 years. Serious kudos for you -- that's a long time to provide the kind of care you have been providing and would have cost your mother hundreds of thousands of dollars if she had been paying for it. I hope that your brother is honorable and rewards you appropriately with his 50%, but if not, at least you know that you've been an excellent daughter.

An additional thought, perhaps as guidance for your brother, in many states, if someone provides the kind of care you've been providing for at least two years for someone in their home, then title to that home can be transferred to the caregiver without a Medicaid eligibility penalty.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Dees, following up on CWillie's advice, either (a) the deed would have to be titled in such a way that title would pass to you automatically on her death, or (b) a trust or will would have create that same automatic transfer.

Do you have the original recorded Deed from when she took title to the house? How is it worded?

If there's no will or trust, she would be considered to have died "intestate", the laws of which are specific to individual states. Title would then pass, through probate intervention I believe, to whichever relative is mandated by state law.

As an aside, you wrote that you worked full time but that Mother can't be left alone. Sometimes cared for elders make arrangements for caregivers, arrangements of which their adult children are unaware.

If you don't have the recorded Deed, or a copy of it, I would get one ASAP from the Register of Deeds, or Recorder's, or similar county office.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If estates were automatically transferred to caregivers a lot of people on this site would be dancing for joy, unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Once all your mother's debts are released any remaining assets will be dealt with according to the instructions in her Will, if she has none then each state will have rules laid out about how the inheritance is distributed.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.