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My MIL's husband has decided to drop her off at our house, permanately. She has progressive supranuclear palsy. They have split their time between traveling around the country and staying at our home for long stretches for around 3 years now. Usually they have only one hospital stay per trip. Either he has a heart attack or she goes unconcious from lack of food or water because they forget to eat. She has become more verbally abusive to him. Also, this last trip she had to be in the hospital every three days. When she came out she was verbally abusive to everyone she saw. He found it inconvenient since he is almost 80 years old and is trying to reconnect with family before they die. we understand that it is usually a UTI which is why He takes her to the doctor when she comes back and the doctor diagnoses it and treats it. They are destitute so we are trying to get them on medicaid. They have only a couple of cars and the RV that they live in. We have put down that she lives with us so she can get the state medicaid. However i am wondering, will that cause them to look at OUR family as members of their household. Also he is leaving in a few days and probably won't be back. We are trying to get him to sign a medical power of attorney so we can at least take her to the hospital and ask questions. Something we haven't been able to do up to this point. Will that be enough? Is there something else we should do? Or have we just stepped into a hornets nest?

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This is your husband's mother, right? I think (if there isn't abuse or neglect in the background) that he should make every effort to do right by his mother. And that probably involves getting legal authority to act on her behalf, applying for Medicaid, and finding a suitable care center near you so that he (and you) can visit often.

I can't imagine that keeping Mom in your house is going to end well. That is sad. I hope her son can manage to not abandon her but instead to see to it she will get the care she obviously needs, from professionals.
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This is not right. Hubby could resign a DPOA and/or an MPOA and possibly get you named as alternate to take over if they are in place already, but you cannot manage her care without these. If this has never been done and she is too clearly not competent to do them, you may be looking at guardianship. One vehicle and one home plus a small savings are allowed; a community spouse gets to keep a certain part of the income. Frankly it sounds like though he is physically mobile he needs some supervision and help for himself. "Forgetting to eat" (or to feed the spouse needing care!) and then "Granny-Dumping" his spouse on you is fairly bad judgement, or maybe just a whole lot of ignorance. Hopefully you can get him to settle down and get legal things in order and the Medicaid application in before giving it up for good - not that he really can continue to take care of her under these circumstances though. Look up your best local geropsych facilities while you are at it too.
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They won't get Medicaid because they own an RV and their legal address is not in Nevada as I recall you saying a year ago. She cannot sign a POA. Neither can he. Contact APS and have her admitted for psychiatric evaluation. Let the state take custody and let the state pursue the husband who abandoned her for financial support.
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You didn't say what state you are in....but you could be letting yourself get set up for an elder abuse charge.

If it were me, I would not allow her into my household without every legal protect in place first. You husband could be on the hook for her medical expenses and be charge with neglect besides!

Tell MILs huddby...this is his problem. He had better take her to the hospital and have her admitted with his medical POA dealing with it. Then, he is responsible for her continuing care.

Beware, You are possibly headed into a ton of legal problems
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You really need to talk to an elder attorney familiar with the regulations for Medicaid in your state - yes, this is a hornet's nest.
1. MIL's husband CANNOT sign a power of attorney for your MIL to you. She is the ONLY one who can sign one for herself unless she has been judged incompetent.
2. A medical power of attorney will not be enough; you will need a Durable Power of Attorney to handle finances, destitute or not. You will need a HIPPA, which allows you to talk with doctors, insurance companies, etc. This is not the Medical POA; it's permission to discuss medical items with you/husband.
3. The attorney is to help you figure out whether the "couple of cars" will have to be spent down. States typically only allow 1 vehicle be exempt when applying for Medicaid for spouses. The RV may or may not count as vehicle as opposed to be considered a house for exempt assets. The fact that she is married will require that her husband's assets be considered unless they are legally separated or divorced.
4. If you put down that she lives with you, they may consider your household income as part of the application. This is why you need an attorney that is experienced with Medicaid. This person will be able to advise you on any retirement income that needs to be considered, how to title or spend down assets, how to access any veterans or social security benefits that she may be entitled to but not receiving, etc.
Good luck. If he is leaving in a few days and won't be back - be aware that any debt he incurs may hit MIL, and any accidents with vehicles that have your MIL's name attached could have legal consequences. PLEASE PROTECT YOUR FAMILY.
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Having him sign medical POA won't do anything...only SHE can assign POA. If he already has POA over her, and she is no longer capable or making the decision to change that, then you have no ability to make decisions for her. Unless you want to go to court for guardianship (which is an expensive, time consuming project that will make you fully liable for her well being which is way more than you want I'm sure) the only other option is to make sure he takes her with him when he leaves.

On the Medicaid subject, her living with you won't have bearing on her Medicaid application. They won't take your income or wealth into consideration. However, they will use her social security number to explore what her AND her husbands income is, what their assets are (property, retirement accounts, life insurance, etc) and use their income and assets jointly to make that decision. If they exceed the limit a spend down must happen to make her eligible for Medicaid. If he refuses the spend down, then you will hit another wall.

If I were you I wouldn't take on this responsibilty until ALL of the paperwork (DPOS, MPOA, Medicaid application etc.) is handled. I would not allow him to leave without her unless he is willing to do the work to settle their finances and medical care.

Angel
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