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YES I am very glad I have that estate attorney, have spent over $3,000 and now appears will be a few hundred more when I get the question over to their office about the missing items.
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I spent more time at mom's over the weekend, combing thru more boxes of stuff and still am not finding everything on the "lists" that is supposed to go to each of my 4 siblings....and unfortunately there is an ex - spouse mentioned who is to receive a certain item, and I'm doubly concerned I cannot locate it since they may interpret the "non-finding" as a judgement on their Divorce, which was quite messy.
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debdaughter: Well, you're most welcome!
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thank you, llamalover, I actually needed that right now!
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debdaughter: Good job!
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that's what I did; I don't think the people they were intended for really cared anyway, just the one's dad did and I suspect he probably would have kept it anyway and the one I suspect would have just sold it anyway
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Malloryg8r: Good that you got an estate attorney.
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Invite them to come help look for the missing items. Convince them through openness that you are not hiding anything, if you can...if you can't, at least you tried and maybe the "things" will fade in importance eventually... Agree it is no fun to deal with all that!
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Joyce, I don't see where you transferred your question but just wanted to say I did go through getting help through the VA for my dad
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No I made a blooper lol Joyce
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Joyce, I'm wondering if you meant to post on this thread?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/anyone-taking-their-parent-to-a-geriatric-specialist-186586.htm

It's the thread on geriatric specialists, incuding those at Beaumont.
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I was talking about Beaumont in Michigan. Has anyone seek help through the VA. I plan on going in a week or two. I just have some more information to gather and then I will be set to meet with the person who will help from the VA to fill out the papers. Has anyone gone through getting help through the V A. Joyce
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my mom's will stated that her mother's engagement ring and brooch (yea, I know, an old term for pin) were to go to 2 different nieces, 1 each of each of her brother's) but I, although she died first, so technically dad but apparently he didn't either, didn't know anything about them or where they were and could not find them either - the one brother came down and even went up in the attic - oh, yes, dad and I did go to the safe deposit box but they weren't there - and the other one's wife came as well - I didn't quite let her go through things but I brought out everything I found; didn't even have a description at the point; but nothing was it, then finally got at least that much at that point and had not seen anything even resembling, so then I got the story from the brother that had come that he had asked her about them and it seemed as if they'd been taken.
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My MIL's Will says her wedding rings go to her daughter. She gave them to her in person instead, so that is done. Malloryg8r, your mom probably did the same thing and I think that is the best way, give them in person.
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Yes I do have an estate lawyer who is really helpful, they told me a when someone dies, you have to do an entire household inventory, which I didn't believe, but I went ahead and did it anyhow. The items in question are not on that inventory list, either. So I am left to wonder if she gave them as a gift....she liked to give things away (I wish she had done more of that) for weddings and graduations. I certainly don't need anything, my house is too small.
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If it is gone, where did it go? If it paid nursing home bills, that is what a Will specifies, read carefully where it says "AFTER all debts are paid..." the remainder is then bequeathed. Often nothing remains.
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You could always get an estate attorney involved.
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this is a timely question, because my mother died in June, and some of the items she describes on her lists of who gets what---I have searched through out her home, closets, shelves, and simply cannot find the items. And I have at least 2 siblings that I know, will be very disappointed to hear those items are just not being found. Naturally, the siblings are going to say I lost them or took them, but that is not true. The job of Personal Representative is "no fun"!
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The Personal Representative just wraps up the estate and settles any bills, if there are funds to pay them, and notifies the heirs the estate has no assets.
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