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Mom is in AL. Stage 5 ALZ. She will run out of funds in about 18 months. IF she is not ready for Skilled Care at that time, her children will pool funds to pay for AL balance that she can not afford after pension and SS. Will helping her affect her ability to qualify for Medicaid when she does need Skilled Care?

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Moondance, When you have so much to handle alone it can feel overwhelming. You've been such a valuable member of Agingcare and helped others. I hope that we can give you something in return.

You and your husband aren't all that old which may make all of your husbands ailments even harder to bear - especially alone. Though you have no children now who can help you, there may be adults who can.

Perhaps if you call your local Area Agency on Aging you can get the name of a counselor who can just let you tell your story. The Alzheimer's Association also has social workers who can come to the house to do an evaluation. Reaching out any way that you can is important.

One good tool is to go to www.aging.gov and click on "state services." Find your state and see what they have to offer for support.

Meanwhile, please keep in touch with us here on this forum. We care about each other and understand how hard all of this can be.

Take care of yourself by reaching out, Moondance, and please update us on how your are doing.
Carol
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It depends on how you help her. If you are directly paying her bills or buying her groceries yourself rather than giving her the money or depositing it into her account...you will be fine. Across the board, welfare agencies do not consider money that hasn't touched your hands, to be your money. I hope this was helpful.
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I hope someone can answer your question. My concern would be if Medicaid would count what you pay on her behalf each month to the AL as her income, thus, artificially inflating her income so that she would not qualify. And how would they ever change unless you stopped paying and that would be problematic.

What state is she located? Don't they have a special category for Disabled people? My loved one comes under a different category from regular assisted living due to the severe dementia. Hopefully, someone who can answer your question will chime in here. If not, I would consult with an attorney who focuses on Medicaid law and/or check with a Medicaid rep. I'm not sure I would rely on the word of the facility, since they have a vested interest in the family continuing to self pay.
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If you call an Elder Law Attorney in your state they will answer this for free. I
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I urge you to see an attorney specifically experienced in elder law and especially knowledgeable about the Illinois state regulations AND agency "interpretations" governing eligibility for Medicaid. Documentation of your Mom's income and expenditures for five years prior to applying for Medicaid will be required and unless someone who is an elder lawyer in IL happens to answer your post it would just not be prudent to rely on even the most sincere comments posted here -- too much at stake. I would hope that Medicaid would treat the family's contribution as a "gift" -- as it is. I think this situation is a bit unusual; its my understanding that Medicaid is primarily concerned with expenditures and that the individual, herself, has not made "gifts" to children, etc. so as to deplete her resources, rather than the other way around. Expenditures must be demonstrably for her own care during the spend down period. But the state would far rather the family pay than use these tax revenues so this could be tricky. I will also caution you that 18 months is a long time in an elder's later years and a lot can happen. My mother's resources were expected to cover her life expenses but when she had to move to Memory Care (in her ALF), her costs went up about 20%. She fell and broke her hip 2 months later -- from which she never recovered either physically or cognitively. And her monthly costs more than doubled for LTC. We are now quickly approaching the need for Medicaid assistance. I think that doing some planning and "what if" thinking with the assistance of an attorney right now will serve your Mom and your family well. Bless you and your family on this journey.
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YES IT WILL. And it will be a mess. Plan for all the rules and such now. I've been following a lady named PETCH on City Data Forums. She posts in the healthcare section. She went through this with her mom, research her posts. Very informative. She wishes she had known and planned beforehand, you have some measures to take before Mom needs that level of care to ensure she still has Medicaid. They even accused her of illegal activity for helping her Mom becuase so many scoundrals of kids do that under the guise of fleecing their parents. Don't help her until you read her posts. Since I did Hospice and saw two upper middle class people's funds diminish so fast due to hospital bills, I became much more interested in the subject and planning for my own health needs down the line. Ensuring i was in the best possible posittion for the medicaid estate recovery act and to have as much covered as possible, even if it means foregoing my own earned social security during my lifetime. If my husband passes first, I will surely be needing to sign up for SS though. Good luck to you. Again, her name is PETCH and she is a member of City Data forum going through this exact thing. She is very helpful, you can send her a pm and she talks and talks. She's getting screwed trying to care for her mom (no money for that, not even a little) but instead they want her in a skilled nursing facility to charge the taxpayer. When Mom does fine at home but her Home will be taken away upon her death from her kids but that is Petch's last concern.
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My mom's AL recommended notifying them about 6 mos. before she runs out out of money so they can help us apply for Medicaid. I expect she would have to transfer to a SNF during that time, then Medicaid would take over from the date of transfer to SNF. Usually Dementia is considered enough cause for SNF care.
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Am so touched to know that there are children who still care about their parents.
GOD BLESS YOU & WATCH OVER YOUR MOM....
Have a wonderful Christmas from an old lady who is all alone...My children all have left this earth.
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Even if Mom isn't on medicaid, when the bills start rolling in, it can cause them to become destitute so you plan for it anyhow. It shocked me how fast my family members (on my husbands side, we are not beneficiaries) lost so much of their income to hosptial bills in such a short amount of time.
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To research spend down, google terms like monthly maintenance need, or maintenance need with regards to In Home Support Services. Since you are so involved, you may end up being her Worker and you'll want to know her share of cost for Medicaid (and IHSS). You can provide her with food, that is called IN KIND and doesn't count. But once you pay her legal bills, it becomes a legal matter in the eyes of Mom's Medicaid Worker. Also you can use the Calfresh tool, check your state and fool with the numbers because after huge medical bills, she may qualify for food stamps at some point. 62+ older means they can deduct these. Good luck to you both, she is so blessed to have a daughter like you
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