Will elderly patients fake health problems to get attention or try to get their way?

I hope this is the way to reply to your answers. There is a back story here and yes the person has been a manipulator since I have been around. She has medicine for depression and anxiety. She gets lots of attention but seems to always want more. I feel she is frightened about her vision problems but has always magnified everything. Being a DIL, I feel I can't express anything negative about her behavior because it angers my husband's siblings. As my husband and I live close to her, we take her to doctors, picking up prescriptions, help buy groceries, help her read mail, change light bulbs, etc. I really feel she does not appreciate what we do and only tolerates me because she needs me for certain things. This is probably because we are around her the most. Regardless of any feelings, there needs to be a plan for her care. I hear lots of talk but nothing has worked out yet. I seems that the out of state siblings want to be in charge of her care and leave my husband and I out of the loop. It would be easier for me if someone would let me know what is expected. At that point I could make my decision accept the responsibilities I could do. Thank You Ladies for listening.

Irma, your profile says that your mother in law's health is on everyone's mind but that there is no open discussion.

It sounds like there is a back story here, if you'd like to talk about the larger issue.

There are several possibilities here.

First of all, does the patient have, or seem to be beginning, dementia? That makes a huge difference.

One possibility is that the vision problems do, in fact, fluctuate. Yesterday they were like this, but today it is more like that.

Another is that the patient is telling on a "need to know" basis. What she tells to a doctor may differ from what she think a daughter should know. What I tell my best friend about my health issues isn't always the same as I tell a casual friend or my kids.

Another is that the person is using a genuine problem to manipulate others, either for sympathy or attention, etc.

I would not automatically jump to the manipulation conclusion, but simply keep it in mind as one possibility among several.

Has this person used manipulation to get her (or his) way all of her life? Is she depressed? Is she getting less attention now than she did in the past? Is she frightened at the prognosis of her vision problems?