I had been taking care of my mom for about a year, she is now living with me, and I'm the one who is always taking my mom to her doctors appts, she was diagnosed with 1st stage dementia, she is doing real good, she only takes one medication for her memory but that's the only thing she needs to get reminded of, to take her medicine, everything else she remembers real good,I only have one brother, so is only him and me, he got divorced of her second marriage about 9 years ago, and him and his youngest son moved in with my mom when she was living by herself, she had her own house that was paid off, in all those 9 years he never paid rent, nor paid bills or groceries, my brother got married, and now him and his wife live at my mom's house, and still not paying rent, or taxes on the house, the house had been left to both of us on the will, and if my brother wanted to have the house for him, he would have to pay me my part and keep the house, well he wanted the house now but couldn't get the money to pay me, so I asked him if he wanted his part I could give him his part but that would be his inheritance, and he was not going to get anymore money he said yes he would take the money and understood he would not get anymore, so my question is my mom already signed the paperwork so the house is under my name now, and I have the money to give to my brother, but now I'm afraid that he will come back later on asking for more, our attorney said he could not do anything but I'm still concerned, should I ask him to sign a document saying that he is getting his inheritance and accept it and won't come back asking for more money later on after my mom passes? Or should I just give him his money and trust the attorney that he won't be able to do anything? I have POA.

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I don't think that your brother can contest what your mom signed. The house should be yours. However, if you are concerned (state laws do differ) you may want to make an appointment with an elder law attorney. One appointment should do it.
Take care,
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To be very blunt, your description of your to-and-fro negotiations with your brother and your assessment of your relative merits are in poor taste. You're behaving like a couple of vultures. Your mother, thank goodness, sounds to be in pretty fair shape.

Going on your description of your mother's mental state, she is probably perfectly capable of making a will and leaving her estate to you and your brother in whatever proportions she sees fit. Normally, that would be 50:50, but she is entirely free to please herself.

You are not free to assist her in making decisions about her will. That would be undue influence. Take her to an experienced attorney.

And as has already been pointed out, there is no knowing that your mother will have any estate to leave.

You and your brother are both making a lot of premature assumptions; and you, in pondering how you should treat your mother's money, are usurping an authority you do not have. POA does not override your mother's wishes while your mother is still competent.
Helpful Answer (12)

What if mom needs a nursing home? Medicaid will take the house as repayment, no matter what the Will says. Never do this stuff without talking to an attorney beforehand.
Helpful Answer (11)

If your mom could sign the papers giving you the house why can't she just rewrite the will and make it clear he has already received his share? I think the bigger worry is that your mom has given away a major asset, I hope she doesn't need medicaid in the next 5 years.
Helpful Answer (8)

You need specifically to consult an attorney who specializes in Elder Law.

Also consider that there may be nothing left to inherit unless your mother is extremely wealthy. Chronic illnesses, and dementia in particular, can be VERY expensive. All of mother's assets may be needed for her care. Do you really want to give your brother your share of the house in exchange for what may turn out to be nothing?
Helpful Answer (5)

Care for Dementia is extremely expensive, no matter how it is accomplished. In all likelihood, unless you are Super Woman, you will need outside help or memory care for your mother. Those costs ramp up fast (I provide in-home memory care.)Thus you may be need to get a reverse mortgage or even sell your mother's home to pay for her care, if you or your brother are unable to pay for it.
You need help to obtaining a realistic overview of what her life forward maybe like. A social worker maybe able to help you or you could read through the many insightful postings on this website. I suggest that both you and your brother would benefit from a through understanding of what you may face if your mother's dementia progresses. BTW. Does she have Alzheimer's?
Good luck.
Helpful Answer (4)

I don't have anything legal to add. I will say that if your mom is only in stage 1, you have a long way to go. My mom was diagnosed in 2009, and was in stage 3 of 7. She has now been in stage 7 for about a year. My husband and I care for her 24/7. At this point, she is in a wheelchair, she can't even stand. That means a dead weight lift to move her from bed to chair to recliner, etc. throughout the day. She doesn't recognize when she is hungry or thirsty. She can't feed herself. We hand feed her, need to make sure she gets enough to drink...offering it often. She is double incontinent...that means changing adult pads throughout the day. She recognizes only a few people and only sometimes. She remembers no names and doesn't recognize her own reflection. Sometimes she is very mean...I know it is the disease, not her...but it can be very difficult to cope with emotionally. We have had to purchase; a bedside commode, special boots to prevent pressure ulcers on her heals, a recliner, an alternating pressure mattress pad, a baby monitor, a hospital bed, a special shower chair, a wheelchair and seat pad, .... We also purchase lots and lots of aquaphor, adult pads, bed pads, ensure, wipes, etc. And this is with us caring for mom at home with no outside help. My mom can afford to go into a care facility, the cost for a good one is about $4000 per month where we live, but we choose to live and care for her ourselves. Your mom may need every penny she has to help with her care, she still has a long way to go. My mom has had this terrible disease for over 17 years and she will still be with us for quite a while....she is very healthy. Money and inheritance is the one thing I never worry about or discuss. I have a brother and sister and my mom has been married to my step dad for over 40 years. When she leaves this Earth, then we can see what there is to split. It is just not what matters....what matters is that we try to make her safe and comfortable and loved while she remains with us. Please know that caregiving is some point you can't go anywhere unless someone can come stay with mom. My husband and daughters help so I can get breaks but I still miss out on many things that I would love to do. Prepare yourself now, physically, mentally, and financially (we take no money from my mom and she lives with us full-time).
Helpful Answer (3)

Many comments here talk about how your mother is just in stage 1 dementia and that she is going to get very bad as she progresses, etc. While that may be true, it could also be true that this is the worst she will ever get. There is no way to predict what is going to happen in the future. She could die in her sleep tonight---and in the same way, you or your brother could die in your sleep tonight.

A couple of questions I have is: Who is paying the taxes on your mother's house? Who is paying for the utilities, etc.? And is your brother & his wife still living there?

So, you are going to buy your brother's half of the house. The title for the house is already in your name. Does your brother intend to continue living there or is he moving someplace else? If he is planning to stay, are you going to let him live rent-free as he has been doing for the past 9 years or are you going to charge him rent to live there? I am not so sure that what your mother did by signing the house over to you & putting the title in your name before you bought your brother's half of the house was the right thing to do. You should have conducted the "sale" in a legal way----your mother should have put the house in both of your names, and a legal sale could have been done. Then the title would have been changed to your name alone. Transferring ownership of the house to you, and then paying off your brother for his half of the house after-the-fact may not have been the best way to do it. I would draw up a legal document, signed by you, your mother, your brother & 2 witnesses and notarized, stating that the monies paid by you to your brother constitute his inheritance and no further monies will be distributed from your mother's estate upon her death. Just remember that to be a legitimate sale, you have to pay your brother half of what the sale price of the house would be if sold to outsiders. Undercutting the price of the house isn't lawful.

Legally, the house is yours. You brother can't come back & want more money for the house after your mother is gone. However, if your mother is able to make decisions at this time, why don't you take her to an attorney & have a current will made that stipulates the conditions of her assets after her death? If she wants you to have everything, she can put it in the will & it will be a legally binding document. Your brother could challenge it, but he probably won't considering legal fees to do that are quite expensive. The will should read that your brother already received his share of the estate on whatever date he received the money from you, and no further assets will be distributed after your mother's death. It should also include something about the date that the house was signed over to you and full title was taken by you.
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If your lawyer didn't expressly advise you against doing all of this, you need another lawyer! First off, neither you OR your brother are entitled to anything until your mother has actually died. HER assets are to pay for HER care, without exception. You and your brother are trying to divide up her assets before she has even passed away. The both of you are just going to have to wait.

Second, a good elder care lawyer should have told you that Medicaid has a FIVE year look back time frame. Which means, that even if this house is in your name, it will have to be sold if she goes into a nursing home.

Your brother shouldn't be getting ANY monies from you at all at this point. If you pay him, and she goes into a nursing home, and medicaid forces the sale of the house (or makes YOU pay them market price for the house), YOU will be out thousands of dollars, NOT your mom. Medicaid will get their money. Final advice, get an elder law attorney and don't give your brother any money at all.
Helpful Answer (3)

Wintersun, just saying...if he has paid no rent to this point do u really think he is going to pay his sister rent. If she gives him the house he'd probably lose it. Best thing, offer to sell it to him for half of the market value. If he doesn't take the offer, sell the house take what you have put out then split the balance between the two of you.
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