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I would contact APS and Social Security and report that she is stealing her mom's money based on being POA. She will probably be facing prosecution if they find that she has been stealing her mom's social security. As she should.
Moms money is just that. Moms money. Every penny.
Do you know if she has signed up to be the representative payee through social security administration for moms checks? If she is she is required to do an annual report and she is required to use all of moms money for mom.
From the replies you've received already, I'm sure you're sensing you need more help than what you'll get here.
Do you have open communication with your wife's daughter ? Other than occassionally buying groceries - where is wife's SS going ? Building up in a bank account?
If not then you'll probably need outside counsel. You may want to contact your local county council on aging for referral to a social worker for a needs assessment and possibly an elder care attorney.
Her financial responsibilities include paying her mother's bills with her mother's money. Does she dispute that there is a requirement for in-home care, or for supplemental insurance? - because unless she does, she must pay those on her mother's behalf, using her mother's money. Buying groceries now and then is nonsensical: she should be paying her mother's normal share of the household bills, reliably and regularly.
As she has medical POA too, she also needs to understand what her mother's care needs are. How does she go about that, at the moment?
Two more questions:
1. How long have you been married?
2. When did your wife become ill or frail enough to need this kind of support? - I notice she's only 74, it's on the young side.
I continued to pay for insurance for Luz, including dental, out of my pocket. Please note that we had no children or family other than my brother.
I managed to save over 90% of her SS. But this was just us with no interference or assistance from others.
I even explained my reason to the judge in the guardianship court. I did use some of her money for a few things. Less the $400 a year.
I think you need to have a talk with the daughter or a lawyer. It might be even get to the point of calling in APS (adult protective services).
Good luck. I believe others will be along with their input.