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I have become fairly adept at the employment of " fiblets" . But now wife is increasingly demanding to get into the car and" go home". So to assuage her anger and tears we get into the car ( not an easy task since she's substantially handicapped, can barely stand. ) We drive for half an hour or an hour. Then we return home. Usually this placates her.


Trouble is, now she is insisting two, three times daily to " ...leave this place and go home." Getting very disruptive.


Any way around this?

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That's a lot of work providing around the clock care for someone with dementia in the home. Do you have any help? Can you take breaks and get out of the house for a couple of days a week? The repeating and insistent behavior can be exhausting, not only for you, but, her as well. I'd discuss it with her doctor and explore medication. My LO would worry a lot, obsess over certain things, cry, and be very anxious. A daily med for anxiety and depression really helped bring her much contentment. She stopped the obsessions and if she did have a concern, she was easily comforted.
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My mother lives with me and has dementia. She would ask to go home and I'm pretty sure from what I could gather she meant her "actual" home. Anyway it was still very disruptive and we took many rides which helped. I agree with Ann Reid sometimes a calming med can help. My mother was put on risperidone which helped a lot. We still had to go on rides but she was much less demanding and easier to handle. Best of luck to you ☺
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Dixon, there are times when someone with dementia will say they "want to go home", and that home is their childhood home.

My Mom said she wanted to go home, and it was awhile before she gave me a hint it was her childhood home. Mom was wonder if the cattle were out in the field. Ah ha, the last home that had cattle was Mom's childhood home. I had to start mastering the therapeutic fibs.

When my Mom [98] asked to go visit her parents, I would fib by saying "they are visiting the old country", and Mom accepted that. But I had to be quick on my feet whenever Mom wanted to visit her siblings.

Rinse. Repeat.
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We lived this with my grandmother, and never came up with a solution that helped, including packing her into the car and riding around the block.

“Home” Is not always a “place to go”. Sometimes it’s a way you long to feel in the confines of a broken brain.

The job is to keep her safe, and as comfortable as possible. If she finds comfort in a ride, stall the ride until a convenient time for you, and use any reason that occurs to you to get to the planned ride time.

You’re doing the best that you can do. Her tears and anger are truly tragic, but you cannot solve them because she has lost the sense of reason.

Has she had an evaluation that might yield some advise about a small dose of calming medication?
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