She suffers from significant memory loss that really accelerated during the past year and she has become very hostile with me and other family members as well.
If not acutely 'unwell' the hospital will not wish to keep a patient.
If an emergency, back to the hospital - but that middle 'not emergency but not well either' at home is a hard gig. An awful waiting game.
I suppose I woud go for a telehealth appointment & ensure your Doc knows what is happening. Ask bluntly what he/she advises in these cases.
I was told 'people have the right to rot' & 'await the crises'. Not very cheery but somehow helped me. Made me restock what was in my control & what was not.
I don't live with those people though so very different. They can make decisions (good or bad) themselves.
If you are the decision maker it is harder but I'm not sure there is much else to do but await another round of crisis-hospital-home. Hopefully next round more care & treament is inserted into that cycle.
Make sure you ask all the questions of the doc. Hopefully you won't have a 'holiday doc' on call--sometimes they are kind of the dregs of Drs. (I am repeating what my DH's dr said about a weekend 'sack of meat' Dr that covered for the regulars. I thought it highly unprofessional until I MET the guy and he didn't even wash his hands and my DH was in quarantine with VRSA--a horribly contagious bacteria--I had to ask him to go back and WASH HIS HANDS)...anyway..
Don't let the doc snow you. Ask the questions and make sure they're answered to your satisfaction.
I know this is a hard situation. I've had to play advocate for my DH many, many times, and I know I'm labeled a 'pain' to the staff, nothing would be done if I didn't pipe up.
I have been known to go out in the hall and corral a dr to get my questions answered. Don't forget: the doctors work for YOU.
When dementia advances, elders tend to become agitated and uncooperative with everything and everyone in general. Hostility indicates she may need calming meds to help her, but again, if she's refusing medical care, there isn't much you can do short of physically hauling her into the car and into the doctor's office for an appointment.
You can call 911 and have her taken to the ER for a psych evaluation if your hospitals are not overrun with Covid patients and diverting new intakes elsewhere, or refusing non life threatening cases entirely. If you're able to get her admitted, I'd kick up a fuss and INSIST on having her seen by a Neurologist in addition to a Psychiatrist b/c things cannot be allowed to go on the way they have been. Discharging her without your knowledge, w/o meds and/or a plan of action is unacceptable! If they're unable to stabilize your wife in the hospital, then she needs to go into a Skilled Nursing Facility for REHAB for at least 21 days so they can GET her stabilized and back on her feet before she's released back home. If her dementia is too advanced to where she cannot be sent to rehab, then she needs to stay in the hospital until she is stabilized or placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility for long term care. You can't live like this and neither can she!
This must be a very worrisome and frustrating situation for you and you have my heartfelt condolences. Wishing you the best of luck finding a solution for your dear wife.
Have you told her doc that she is refusing to go? Have you told your wife that you understand that she does not WANT to go but that the doctor says she needs to go?
Short answer is ... There is nothing you can do. NOW If she is declared incompetent then you take charge of her medical care. If at any point you need to call 911 for her that is an opening that you can use to begin getting help for her. I would at that point request a Neurologist check her out as well. Since we are in the window of Open Enrollment you might use that as a reason to get her to agree to see the doctor. If you can tell her it is required before the end of open enrollment she may agree.
We had a 911 situation within the last two weeks. My wife spent 10 days in the hospital. I asked the attending docs to have a neurologist type check her out but they did not do that. They discharged her late last Friday without letting me know in advance.
Talk to the doctor about the situation and see if they will do a telehealth visit as a short-term fix. Some of her meds shouldn't be discontinued abruptly so it will buy a bit of time. Without her meds she'll likely end up in the hospital for one thing or another and then they'll have to deal with her meds, but that's a pretty drastic way to get a renewed prescription. In addition to her dementia, it's likely her depression is contributing to her refusal to go to the doctor. This won't be easy for you to fix without some help from the doctor.
If an emergency, back to the hospital - but that middle 'not emergency but not well either' at home is a hard gig. An awful waiting game.
I suppose I woud go for a telehealth appointment & ensure your Doc knows what is happening. Ask bluntly what he/she advises in these cases.
I was told 'people have the right to rot' & 'await the crises'. Not very cheery but somehow helped me. Made me restock what was in my control & what was not.
I don't live with those people though so very different. They can make decisions (good or bad) themselves.
If you are the decision maker it is harder but I'm not sure there is much else to do but await another round of crisis-hospital-home. Hopefully next round more care & treament is inserted into that cycle.
Make sure you ask all the questions of the doc. Hopefully you won't have a 'holiday doc' on call--sometimes they are kind of the dregs of Drs. (I am repeating what my DH's dr said about a weekend 'sack of meat' Dr that covered for the regulars. I thought it highly unprofessional until I MET the guy and he didn't even wash his hands and my DH was in quarantine with VRSA--a horribly contagious bacteria--I had to ask him to go back and WASH HIS HANDS)...anyway..
Don't let the doc snow you. Ask the questions and make sure they're answered to your satisfaction.
I know this is a hard situation. I've had to play advocate for my DH many, many times, and I know I'm labeled a 'pain' to the staff, nothing would be done if I didn't pipe up.
I have been known to go out in the hall and corral a dr to get my questions answered. Don't forget: the doctors work for YOU.
Good Luck!
You can call 911 and have her taken to the ER for a psych evaluation if your hospitals are not overrun with Covid patients and diverting new intakes elsewhere, or refusing non life threatening cases entirely. If you're able to get her admitted, I'd kick up a fuss and INSIST on having her seen by a Neurologist in addition to a Psychiatrist b/c things cannot be allowed to go on the way they have been. Discharging her without your knowledge, w/o meds and/or a plan of action is unacceptable! If they're unable to stabilize your wife in the hospital, then she needs to go into a Skilled Nursing Facility for REHAB for at least 21 days so they can GET her stabilized and back on her feet before she's released back home. If her dementia is too advanced to where she cannot be sent to rehab, then she needs to stay in the hospital until she is stabilized or placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility for long term care. You can't live like this and neither can she!
This must be a very worrisome and frustrating situation for you and you have my heartfelt condolences. Wishing you the best of luck finding a solution for your dear wife.
I will confront the attending doc during her recent hospital stay first thing tomorrow morning.
Thanks.
There is nothing you can do. NOW
If she is declared incompetent then you take charge of her medical care.
If at any point you need to call 911 for her that is an opening that you can use to begin getting help for her. I would at that point request a Neurologist check her out as well.
Since we are in the window of Open Enrollment you might use that as a reason to get her to agree to see the doctor. If you can tell her it is required before the end of open enrollment she may agree.
Thanks.
Chris
Thanks.
Chris