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IE: personal space, privacy, being able to express herself w/o offending. My mother recently started to stay with us, only at night with my fathers recent move to a nursing home. I feel safer with her here (very rural area, country road). My wife and 18 yr old daughter feel that my mom is somewhat invading their space. She's only here 2 hours a night and 1 hour in the am when everyone is getting ready to go to work. Suggestions?

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Not sure exactly what you mean by your question, I will wait for your reply about hours etc. But it sounds to me as though your mom is staying overnight. Was there a discussion about this beforehand? Did your wife and daughter think that this was a good idea? Was there a discussion with mom beforehand about what the paramaters were? There are some folks who could come and stay with me and there eould be no issue; there are others, including some of my own children who drive me up the wall after 20 minutes. Does y.our mom have a diagnosis? Has she lost her "filter"? There are elderly folks who are mindful that they are in someone else's space and there are those eho feel that they must comment, improve and adjust everyone in the home. You need to have a sit down, first with your wife slone and then with wife snd daughter, to get a reality check about ehat is going on.
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Your mom is somewhat invading their space. There is no getting around that. First thing to do is to acknowledge that to your wife and daughter. It may still be a viable options and it may work out wonderfully for everyone in the long run. But make sure your family knows you consider their feelings valid and important.

Then work on the practical aspects of the problem. For example, set boundaries to maintain privacy. Tackle one issue at a time, but don't spread the whole topic out over months. Get things into better harmony as quickly as you can.

Is this intended to be for the rest of your mother's life? Is this a precursor to her moving in completely?

Why isn't your mother safe alone at night? What are her impairments?

Provide a few more details so we can also get more specific.
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Quick question, is your Mom living with you full time, but your wife and daughter only see your Mom 2 hours at night and 1 hour in the morning because they are at work the rest of the day? Or is your Mom just staying over night and back to her old home the rest of the day?

Either way, it is an adjustment for everyone, including your Mom. You grew up with your Mom around so your know her habits, etc. For your wife and daughter, this is a new adjustment.

Is your Mom underfoot when your wife and daughter are trying to get ready for work? I know that could be bothersome especially if they all need to share a bathroom and are trying to get out on time to go to work. If that is one issue, have your Mom eat breakfast first with you.... then she can have the bathroom all to herself the rest of the time.

How mobile is your Mother, would she be able to help around the house. Check with your wife to see what Mom can do to help her. Start simple. Does Mom cook, are there any favorite but simple meals she can get ready to help your wife?

Having an extra person in the house full time day after day can throw the balance off in a household. It will take time. Include your Mom in fun family activities that she would be able to do.
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