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She cannot put an outfit together and just wanders around. She is not ready for AL or a caregiver but she is driving everyone around her crazy. Are there support groups for people who are still masqueradeing as totally mentally fit?

Sighman, I understand the frustration; it may help to keep telling yourself she's not doing it on purpose, because it really sounds as if she's not. My mom is beginning to act in a similar way, and I'm finding it difficult to tell her stuff over and over, and it's tough when I'm talking about someone she knows well, and she obviously has no clue... doesn't help if I let it aggravate me (I know, already did), and am trying to do as a couple others here suggested - be calm, patient, and compassionate.... reaching for the moon here, but it should get you/me better results.
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Reply to mally1
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There should be many Alzheimer's support groups in your area, even if she does not have that diagnosis.....yet. Call your local senior residences in your area to see if they have such a program. You may get some insight on how to manage her wanderings and what the future may hold
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Reply to MACinCT
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Sighman, here are some excellent articles to help give you an idea on what your wife is going through and what you need to do for the future:

https://www.agingcare.com/alzheimers-dementia
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Reply to freqflyer
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I doubt seriously that your wife is putting on an act or intentionally trying to drive any of you crazy. GardenArtist is right. My mother had lucid days and days when she was convinced people were sneaking into her room through secret panels in the walls, all in the same week. Are you looking for a support group for her or for yourself? Has she been to her doctor recently? Has she been tested for dementia? Could she have had a small stroke?

Please be supportive of and kind to her. Help her out if she needs it. And do educate yourself about Alzheimer’s if it turns out she has it.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Sighman, I wouldn't be too critical of your wife and conclude that she's "masquerading". It's not unusual for someone with dementia to segue back and forth between moments of coherency and moments of confusion.

This is a good time to take the approach of compassion, assistance, and understanding in learning more about dementia. And ask here about alternative treatment of her confusing episodes, i.e., if she's unable to use a microwave, either turn it on for her, or consider some assistance, such as bringing the family together to help instead of "being driven crazy."

Who diagnosed her, and what kind of dementia was diagnosed? Read up on it, ask others here what experience they've had with that dementia, join a support group and prepare yourself for dealing with experiences that many here have faced, likely for the first or second times in their lives.

Your wife didn't choose this; help keep her safe by finding alternate ways to help her with her ADLs.


Support groups might be located through local hospitals, senior centers, memory care or assisted living centers. The Alzheimer's Assn. has an excellent list of resources and can e-mail suggestions to you within half an hour (that's been my experience). Area Agency on Aging also provides lists, but in my experience it's taken about a week to get the referral information.

No one here can tell you which support groups might exist in your area b/c your profile doesn't provide information on what you are.

You're wise to ask now about support groups to help your family through what probably will be a challenging stage of life.

I wish you luck, as well as strength and creative ideas to help each of you in the years ahead.
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Reply to GardenArtist
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