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My grandmother's brother passed away 10 months ago and it has been a living hell!!!! He was a loving brother and used to come over twice a week to see grandma. I haven't done anything different then I have 8 years ago when I moved in to take care of her. Just to let everyone know I love my grandma very much and wouldn't do anything to hurt her ever. In April I was investigated for financial abuse and that case was closed. I never took anything from gram. Now 1 week ago, I was investigated for physical abuse and now that case is close. The APS investigator said I was a great granddaughter and my grandma is lucky to have me. I had to show her a lot of proof I was being set up. Meanwhile she told me my sister has been allegating to doctors, hospitals, and social workers I am no good. I got to tell you I never cried my eyes out so much and I couldn't eat for 5 days. I don't understand why she is doing this. She hardly comes over. Maybe once every 2 months and takes off. She doesn't know how I take care of grandma, she is never here to help with anything. However, why is she trying to hang me? I am very loving and even took care of her and her son for 2 yrs. when she got into a bad car accident.

Yes get a care agreement in writing and notarized. Maybe a lawyer involved. This is to protect you. Who now has POA. If no one maybe Gma can assign u. This all can be done at a lawyers office.

Its bad enough when children expect money from parents but grandparents too!
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sorry, Jessy, I read your profile wall but didn't go back through your previous posts. I see you posted this in January:

>>I have taken care of my grandma for 7 years now!!!! Within the last year, I had to quit my job and financially, spiritually, and emotionally go through the ringer caring for her. Now I have a son and obligations, but my grandma and her brother POA don't seem to think I should get paid for taking caring of her. I seriously don't want to ask for money, but how do I provide for my son and take care of grandma!!! They don't care and she has the funds to.<<

Again, I sympathize so much! This isn't uncommon that people jump in to help their aging family without thinking that it's going to be a long term situation, or that it will affect them financially, physically, etc.

I experienced some of the things you've posted about: I was unpaid, I was suspected of financial abuse. I think you have to get a Caregiving Agreement in place in order to continue in this situation.

Edit: I just saw your Reply, Jessy, that you do have a Caregiving Agreement. That's great. If your grandmother is competent to do an agreement, she is competent to tell your sis to "butt out."

Your sister may persist, but you've passed all the APS investigations, so you may have to ignore her.
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Reply to AliBoBali
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Jessy2you Sep 30, 2018
My grandma told be 3 weeks ago, that my sister asked if she gave me the house. The APS worker seems to think she is doing all this as a result to see what she can get and throw my grandma in a nursing home.
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Hi, Jessy. Your profile info says your grandmother is 41 yo, but you state in your own post that your grandmother is 100 yo. I'm thinking that you're 41 yo and your grandmother is 100, perhaps? You say on your profile that your grandmother won't pay you to care for her even though she has the money.

If your grandmother is still mentally competent, she can do a caregiving agreement with you. You should be compensated for your work imo, if there is money to pay you, because you're saving your grandmother money and peace of mind, if your care allows her to remain in her home, or if she would have to hire someone else to do work that you're doing for her.

If your grandmother doesn't need much care, then you should be employed to get some financial resources for yourself squirreled away. You're going to need some seed money to get started again. What happens if your grandmother passes away? Are you living at her home?

I sympathize with you. I was accused of financial abuse and it was nonsense... plus they weren't even coming around to visit and see for themselves what was happening. So this is common enough that those who aren't involved in the day-to-day caregiving sometimes suspect some nefarious motive for you being grandma's caregiver.

Protect yourself. If you should be getting paid for your work, then you have to either get a caregiving agreement with your grandmother... or you can help her as much as you can, but you need to get a job for your own security.

I'm assuming some things here. Sorry if I guessed some things wrong.
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Reply to AliBoBali
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Jessy2you Sep 30, 2018
Sorry, Yes I am full live in care and yes grandma is 101. Yes since my last post she does we do have a mutual agreement, because she knows I can't survive with nothing and she needs needs someone 24 HR care.
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If your mom has an attorney call and ask them to send a cease and desist letter. This would be on grandma's dime as it effects the care she is receiving from you.
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Reply to gladimhere
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If your sister continues this, I would consult with an attorney. Most attorneys offer an initial consultation for free to determine if you have a case. Since you’ve been investigated twice and been found innocent, you probably have a case against her. If she knows you’ve got an attorney, she may think twice before moving on to the next accusation. By all means, if you handle Grandma’s finances, keep extensive and involved records of every penny you spend.

Next time, dry your tears and call your attorney.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Who knows. This happened to me too. My best guess is my twisted sisters felt guilt over not helping with mom. One twisted had mom's POA's, so access to all of her account information, so she KNEW nothing of the sort was going on.

I think they were hoping that APS would uncover something so they could place mom in a facility, have others paid to care for her, so guilt cured? Beats the heck out of me.

When APS investigated me, they also told me what a good job I was doing. And that it was nothing short of spite and vindictiveness that caused the twisteds to do this. APS has seen it many times and false reporting in some cases is considered a punishable crime. APS is short staffed and under funded and have real emergency situations that they need to investigate. They do not need to be wasting their time on false reports.
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