Why would adult child be enraged at being taken off as executor when she never calls or visits unless she needs something?

I longed for MOST of my life as a child, for a brother or sister.

The learning experience that bloomed with time produced this personal insight-

“If THEY’RE NOT THERE to help you, THEY’RE NOT THERE to get in your way!

I was my Moms Executor. Why, because I was here. When my parents had made up Wills, prior to my Dads death, it was my brother and I. When Mom redid her Will after Dads passing, my brother and I agreed, since he lived 8 hrs away, that It was more practical for me to be Moms Executor and POA. I lived in the same Town. It was his wife that protested. Even called me to find out why.

I read or heard a long time ago you never tell anyone what is in your Will. This way they can be mad at you after your gone and not before. All people need to know is there is a Will and maybe who drew it up in case the original can't be found. You should have all important papers where they can be easily found.

Does your daughter realize what is involved in being an Executor? It doesn't mean she has control over your assets, it means she carries out the wishes of your Will. She first has to be assigned by Probate as your Executor. Your Will is only a request. She then has to contact the beneficiaries that the Will is being Probated and send a copy along with the letter or make it available. Then she has to make sure there are no debts. Find all assets and if required liquidate them. An estate account needs to be set up. If a house, needs to be sold if not left to someone. There has to be an accounting. Probate cannot be closed and beneficiaries paid until everything is done that needs to be. Because of all this and getting a lawyer involved, the Executor should be in the area the deceased lives. If not, it would be hard to do everything required.

So you may want to explain what is involved in being an Executor. Personally, I would never do it again. Nor would I take on POA again. You may want to be bluntly honest and tell her why you changed it, was because u only see or hear from her when she wants something. You have put your Will in the hands of someone you feel can take on the responsibility involved.

Could be many reasons. Perhaps, though this person doesn't live in same place, they are the most competent to handle the job of distributing the estate. This is a legal process that takes some knowledge and some work; I am just finishing it up. Perhaps the removed child believes that another child has exerted pressure on a parent to change legal papers when the parent is fragile, failing, or suffering some dementia.
As I said, there could be many reasons, so why not just ask?

There are plenty of valid reasons for someone to be angry over this. Especially if the new executor is a sibling or other relative or even a friend who is taking advantage of the elder. If my parents did it to me, and I am the sibling who lives far away while my brother lives at home, yep I would be pissed because a)I know it’s because my brother forced/influenced them to do it for the wrong reasons and b)he’s nearly 40 years old, has had ONE job in his life which was PARKING CARS! And it lasted a year. Since then he’s lived at home and off my parents. There is no way in hell he could handle my parents estate. He’s never so much as paid a single bill in his life and doesn’t even have a bank account. Zero life experience.

Say what now?