My father never saved money. When he died, he left very little for my mother other than a modest pension. She should be in a retirement home. She is forgetful, and she is almost blind. But she doesn’t have the money to go into a retirement home. And she wants to live independently.
She was living in a place owned by my sister until 5 months after my father died. It made sense. My sister is an empty nester who doesn’t work. She has time and money. Despite this my sister pushed my mom to move into the same building as me. She said that she could not be my mothers only “regular” companion anymore. (My mother has very few friends).
I work full time at a very stressful job. I have nothing to give at the end of the workday and suffer from depression and work related burnout. My sister feels that because I am single, I “only have myself to take care of” and should be able to care for my mother. She hasn’t worked for many years, and just doesn’t get the fact that I have a very small window of time in the mornings and evenings. The weekend is spent running around doing errands.
My relationship with my mother has always been difficult. She is a very critical person. Since she has moved in, I feel like I’m living at home again. She is very critical and it’s getting me down. I resent my sister because she has so much more time to care for our mother. Her and her husband have money. I don’t. And I HAVE to work.
My sister does come over twice a week to take my mother out but then she gets to swan off back to her home 20 minutes away. She is refusing to let my fathers death and mothers needs impact her life.
She is going away for three months on vacation, leaving me to deal with my mother and my job. I am so angry and resentful. I don’t understand why she gets to have her life and I don’t. I’m also very angry that my father was so bad with his money and left things in such a mess. My parents emigrated and never had to care for aging parents. I don’t have kids and will have nobody to care for me. Why should I have to give up my 50’s into my 60’s to take care of my mother?
I’m not even sure if I have a question. But I feel alone. And I am hoping to find other people on this forum who have faced the same issues.