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I'm really upset and sick and mom is driving me crazy now new habit undressing. I want to scream I feel so worthless and hopeless her home I have lived over 15n years only family left is her and I my nAME IS NOT ON HER HOUSE I have used her money for caregiving expensesd and also some topay my bills due to not working taking care of her she is not on Medicaid I seem to not be able to get help just went thru ;last of her money now dipped into her and my life insurance this is so frustrating Im ready to go out in streets with a sign asking for help but this new thing undressing I just cant handle really cannot handle much agter 14years im done I cannot even find my own self lost and advice

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I'd try to get her into some clothes that open in the back, then use large diaper pins to hold them together. Also, pin the shirts to the pants in back. It will slow her down. If you do this, you should plan to 'undo her' regularly so she can use the bathroom.
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Mom started doing this after her first stroke and did not care in any way who might be around. My VERY modest MOTHER!!!! She said she was hot and wanted them off. She couldn't do much for her self, but boy could she strip those clothes off! It seems it was a passing fancy and then next she was cold all the time, so we went with sweat suits. I hope you are able to find the help you so badly need to get some assistance!
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It's weird but often with elderly they feel the same confinement in clothes as a 2 or 3 year old. Find something comfortable and let her float around in it by telling her she is as free as a beautiful bird but the bird would not looks so pretty without it's feathers.
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Well, now I've heard it all...stripping! Could be she is getting this idea from TV shows. I feel for you. You need caregiving relief badly else you will experience caregiver meltdown! How do I know this? Because I experienced it firsthand myself with my own mother, but sadly she lived in another state and I had to move there! Do I have a life? Sure I do, but had to put all of that on hold.
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Hi Sandy...
I totally understand what your going thru as I'm going thru the same situation with my mother. I moved here in Arizona in 2010 due to my mom had a Blood Glog stroke and since none of my siblings we're willing to take the responsibility i did cause I didn't want her in a home cause she really didn't adapt being in the rehab for few weeks ...Anyway I apply for I home care for my mom which I got some kind of income it's not much but it's something to help out, I'm sure you can look into doing in home for your mom every State benefits are different so I suggest you call or ask doctor they can referred you a agency ok...
My mom didn't want to wear her night gown too and plus my mom have dementia and with the stroke her brain ain't functioning anymore so she takes her diaper off and stuff so what I did I got her some jump suits for seniors with a zipper in the back so she won't be able to unzip it and ohhhh goshhh it helps me a lot ...my mothers doctor help me with getting my benefit for doing in home for my mom I'm sure we're ever you lived they have that benefit for you since your taking care of your mother just like me, I can't work or do anything cause I have to care for me mother 24/7 ...I know it's hard what we're all going thru but I take it as its my time to give back to my mother in what ever way I can and I do count it as a blessing for me to have this time with her cause once she's gone I can't replace my mother..I pray your situation will get better a God gives you the strength and patience to resolved those issues..Happy Holidays to you and your mom.

God Bless...
Leah...
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Your mom has dementia and has forgotten how to behave appropriately. Toddlers take their clothes off too - and when we get to that stage of dementia as an older adult, we simply regress to our early childhood years and forget what we've learned.
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I cannot say it is time for a nursing home for you Mom because I dread the very idea of sending my husband to one. I do know that they have clothing that is not easy to remove. As long as the wearer is not an "aggressive undresser" this kind of clothing may work. I am considering getting some for my husband.
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Oh, I feel for you, but at least you have some hope in applying for some kind of Government help. I do not have that option since my mother is illegally here because my siblings in mexico refuse to care for here there. The also refuse to help me here sending some kind of money for us to pay for all of her needs. Get on the waiting lists of nursing homes in your area ASAP!!!!! don't wait any longer, you are going to go crazy trying to do this on your own. And don't feel guilty either for wanting to get your mother out of your house and onto a nursing home, it's so unfair when us adult children are left high and dry by our siblings when it comes to taking care of our sick parents. I've been trying to hold on to my own identity for almost 3 horrid years, if it wasn't for my wonderful husband of 41 years and our daughters and grandchildren, I think I would have ran away already. You MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO, PLEASE DO THAT!!!!! find a support group, some hospitals and churches have them, find a hobby, join your local YMCA, a gym, get together with friends once in a while, DO IT!!! you owe that to yourself.
I am just surviving every day, I rejoined my YMCA, I'm working out every day, swimming, biking, running, seeing my friends, getting fit again. This poor old people are a huge burden, no one wants them around, this is the truth. Yes, they are our mothers and fathers but it's not fair that we have to give up our lives and life savings to care for someone who is totally oblivious to anything around them, they have no joy anymore, they give no joy either. All I'm doing is keeping this poor old woman alive, who is in pain from falls, who can't even eat a good stake or enjoy an ice cream, she has no teeth anymore, she just sits in her chair or her bed, watching cartoons and sleeping. She is 91, she has dementia, she suffered all her life at the hands of her so called husband, unfortunately he is my biological father, and now she is still suffering, and making me suffer as well.
Forgive me for saying this, please, PLEASE get the help you need, do it NOW!! before you fall into a depression. I hope also you seek the help of your family, her family, her brothers or sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. Don't delay, find a nursing home that will take her Medicaid, or whatever Government help she is entitled to. Best of luck to you, and I hope you treat yourself to something nice for Christmas.
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It's time for a nursing home. The Social Workers at nursing homes are angels with answers. I recommend you start there. Call and tell her/him what's going on and ask for help. They know what programs are available. They can help you with paperwork to apply for Medicaid. You will likely need and Alzheimers care unit in a facility that takes Medicaid. You need to do this ASAP as there may be a waiting list. Get on all of the waiting lists you can find. Do you have a durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney for your mom? You should get those in place ASAP.

You are in over your head and your mom needs professional around the clock care and you need to go back into the world and search for your own sanity. God bless you.
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Sandy, woah there. You've been living with your mother and looking after her for fifteen years. And in all of that time, have you ever received offers of help or support or advice from anyone? These things are available, and will be for you too. It's just a question of thinking about what you need help with, and who to approach to ask. One thing at a time.

The undressing seems to be regrettably common in dementia. My mother does it to "save time." ?!?!? What time do you save by trying to get to the bathroom with your knickers already round your ankles? But your mother's not doing it to play tricks on you. In her disordered mind, at that moment, she thinks it's what she needs to do. Clothes that she can't undo easily are the obvious answer, but it depends how much say you have over what she puts on.

Please come back and post again. There will be answers, you will be okay. Hugs to you.
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Sandy, since your mother is not approaching death, she is probably taking her clothes off because she has dementia. There is often no explaining what people with advanced dementia do. We just have to accept the things and help where we can. In this case, putting some clothing back on to your mother. Many people with Alzheimer's have this problem, so you are not alone. I have heard of some people taking off their clothes in public. Now that would be embarrassing.

Caregiving can drain us financially and emotionally. After 14 years, I have the feeling that you will need some help re-training for a career and getting back to work. You have to do this for yourself. Talk to your local Human Services department and tell them your situation. Depending on where you live, there may be services available to you. Are you on Medicaid or Medicare? That would be a good starting point. Counseling may help a lot. Many counties will have programs that will help you get back to work. Ask about those programs and see if you can get some help restarting your career. I don't envy you this task, but I know you can do it.

I don't know how your using your mother's money to pay your bills will affect her eligibility for Medicaid. There is only one way to find out -- apply and try to find her the best facility you can. You need to do this for yourself. Soon she will not be around to pay the bills, so you have to be able to do it. My hope and prayers are with you. Hugs.
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Sandy22, mom needs a Nursing Home. And you need a job to save your sanity.
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