Why is the favorite sibling the one that never helps the parents?
I know this sounds childish, but my older sister Stacey has always been my parent's favorite. I never doubted my parents love for me, but my whole life they were happier and cheerier when Stacey was around. Since mom's AD illness last year, she mostly does disappearing acts when things get tough. She rarely visits our parents even though she doesn't have a job and lives an hour away, gets irritated with the slightest suggestion that she might have to help with something, and bad mouths them. Our mom was in the hospital on Christmas day and her 25 year old son said "I hope we don't have to just mope all day because grandma and grandpa aren't here." (He never visited them.) My parents asked her to have POA a few years ago, but she said no because I'd end up mad at her for something so my parents chose an attorney instead. My sister just didn't want the responsibility and used me as an excuse - making me look bad. She makes fun of our dad's nervous ticks (he's the primary caregiver to mom - of course he's stressed out.) She's openly said "mom is so f****d up" when actually she is exhibiting symptoms of dementia that she's not taken any time to educate herself on. Her lack of compassion is breaking my heart and she apparently models this behavior for her kids too. I rarely speak to her because I find her attitude so unsettling. Still, my parents adore her. I called my dad after I researched a new doctor they wanted to see and my mom was on a different phone with my sister. I heard my mom tell him to "Just hang up with me and talk to Stacey". Has anyone else experienced this? Sometimes I feel like I want to disengage altogether and let them stew in the bed they've made. Is it a case of being like the old dependable shoe that everyone can count on, but nobody really notices? Thanks for letting me vent.