My mother is 84. She was a school teacher who raised me as a single parent. So she is use to being in control. I am an only child.(56) and my mother is stressing me out. She lives alone and seems to be doing ok managing her home on the surface. My mother has always been a controlling person. Now all she does is complain. Everything seems to make her unhappy and she blames me for almost everything
I don’t know if it is a health issue because she refuses to go the doctor. Has not had a physical since the late 1980’s. She is losing her vision because of glaucoma (in denial), but was complaining even before that. My mother has caused her few friends and family to avoid her because she complains about everything they do. Now she wants me to be her outlet for everything. I work full time and run a cottage business and have a collage aged daughter.
I truly understand that my mother is lonely. She never developed any interests. So now she really has nothing to do. When I have suggested that she join The Red Hats group so that she can get out of the house more..she will cast that idea aside because she does not see herself as an old lady and really wants nothing to do with people who do.
What is real stressful is when she does get out… she wants to return home right away..but then complains that I don’t take her out enough. When I take her out to the movies she complains that I did not do it sooner.
The worst days for my daughter and me are the days when she gets very little sleep. The telephone becomes her friend and she will call either of us at 6AM to complain about something that we did or did not do, then call later to complain about something else. I am at my wits end. I love her dearly and will do whatever I need to do for her. I just need help learning how to cope.
She is so angry about getting older. Because of her anger we are walking on eggshells. She will then flip and be very pleasant...as long as you don’t disagree with her about anything.
I am so afraid that the next few years a going to be a living hell.