Why is my friend mad at me about his cancer? It's not my fault. I'm so tired I really want to leave. We've been together 34 yrs.

Typical for people to take things out on those closest to them. Like kids with their moms. Though not easy, try not to take it personally. Your friend is probably scared, in pain, etc. Maybe he needs someone else to talk to.

Verbal abuse and lashing out is never ok. It tends to be human nature to take things out on the person closest to us so while it may seem your partner is blaming you for his cancer, I suspect he doesn’t really blame you. You are unfortunately in the direct line of fire when it comes to his anger. I am so sorry. It is a very difficult thing to endure. With my husband’s back issues, I find myself taking the anger and short-temperedness personal. A cancer diagnosis is devasting and he needs a lot of emotional support right now. I second counseling sessions. Maybe for yourself, you could find a local support group?

I would imagine that having cancer might make you have all kinds of emotions. It's not fair to take it out on you, but, it might be something that he just needs to work through. Will he see a counselor? Can you see one? I don't think stating what you need is unreasonable. It's right to get the help you need to help him. But, if he's resistant and refuses reasonable measures, I'd not be inclined to tolerate it. Plus, verbal abuse is not okay. I'd consult with a professional to see how to handle that, because, it can be a warning sign. Your safety is the biggest concern, imo. I would not take verbal abuse lightly.

Yes you should have help.
No you are not blowing things out of proportion.
Your friend may be mad, rather than mad at you - you just happen to be there.
There may be medical reasons for his outbursts.
But to go back to the beginning - you should have and you NEED help.

If you don't get help, and you try to carry on, you may break down or worse and end up "leaving" by default even though you never planned to.

What kind of support services can you access? Have you asked around?