Why is my brother having such a difficult time getting our mom a FL ID?
I’m still reeling from the recent estrangement from my mom after a lifetime of being so close as mother and daughter. You can read about it in my former post. Well, my brother has been desperately trying to get her a FL ID with no success. We lost her driver's license a yr ago. Both my brothers, including my mom, think I have it but won’t give it to them. My mom knew we lost it but now under my brother's influence believes differently. My brother has completely brainwashed this poor woman with his intimidation tactics. He wants her ID to proceed with taking control of her banking accounts etc.
I've tried getting her to go to her Dr to get a neurological test but my brother won’t allow it. I’ve tried hiring attorneys to get a financial extortion case against him but they are nonchalant about it. I’ve even thought of calling the elder abuse hotline on my brother because of the psychological abuse he’s inflicting on our mother. That will only make his behavior worse and take it out on my mom.
For the past month, he has been dragging her to the DMV desperately trying to get her a FL ID with no luck. He has screwed up appt times, he hasn’t brought the correct documents, and he becomes unglued acting like a complete lunatic with the DMV clerks. (Caregiver goes along and informs me of his behavior)... He has taken her to the DMV at least 4 times now to no avail.
As her POA I know 1000% I would’ve had this done on the very first visit! It’s not rocket science fcs. On the DMV website, it even says for people born before 1945 to contact them for information about what alternative documents they could use. I’m sure because many people this age have lost original ss cards, birth certificates, etc... Obviously, my college grad brother hasn’t bothered to check this. Also, the fact he’s being so nasty at the appts might be why the clerks aren’t being as helpful as they could.
Is it really that hard to get a state-issued ID? Why can’t the DMV just pull up her license and verify it’s her with the photo? Her driver's license wasn’t expired yet. He could get a certified copy of her birth certificate. SS numbers can be verified with her w2 form, Medicare docs, etc. Address can be verified with her utility bill, cable bill, etc. My brother even found her marriage license, but they would not accept that. It is listed as one of the excepted forms of identification. Not that I’m looking to assist him but curious to know what is going on. Does the DMV have a protocol for these kinds of situations? Witnessing a child of an elderly parent becoming so irate, while the parent sits there quietly and shaken. Do they flag her account? Why are they making it so difficult?
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He is not giving the DMV what they need. Maybe they feel Mom is being coerced. And are using excuses. Part of the problem maybe, that her license counts as a certain amount of points and because she has lost it has to give complete info now. Like getting a new license.
Needs her birth certificate. If lost, as you say, he can get that at County records. Her SS card, can get a replacement. Proof of address. (Is she in her home or with brother? If with brother has she received mail at his house? Has her bank statement address been changed) A marriage certificate only proves she has been under another name.
My State started that with the new Real ID. A woman has to show every name she has been under. Birth Certificate has name born under. If you have been divorced, that marriage certificate or divorce papers, then the next marriage, etc. You have to do this for a passport too.
For me it was my adoption papers showing the name I was born under and the name change. My now birth certificate. Then my divorce papers showing I had been married before, then my now marriage certificate. Every last name I had ever had.
The DMV has a pamphlet telling you exactly what you need to get for an ID. Like u said, at a certain age you can prove birth a different way. Bibles, baptism records, etc.
In your position, again, Mom lost her license and thats it. Its now up to your brother to do what he needs to do. I would not worry about it. He wanted his Mom, he gets all of the responsibility.
If her license isn't expired, it can be renewed online.
Does your brother have cognitive limitations?
I have a brother that if it doesn't work out the first time then everyone is against him and he would just give up. I have assisted him on a lot of legal items because of that reasoning.
You will probably need to take the bull by the horns because obviously he can't do it.
Could be a million reasons.