Why is it that as caregivers we feel so alone at times when we are always with the person we're caring for?

I have to admit that I feel sometimes that, I am a prisoner in my own house. I take a low dose of anti-depressant med but that is due to either several health issues or because it runs in our family or both. I take care of my mother-n-law (mnl) going only for 9 months n I get somewhat help from the hubby. Did I say, somewhat? ; 0
Through this board I have a lot of friends n found out I am not alone yet, we still have r own situations. I learn also here that a good book to read about AD n Dementia is called,"The 36-Hour Day," by Nancy Mace n Peter Rabins. This book has helped me understand n how to deal with situation n how to just let go n don't let it bother you. Respite care is a plus if you are able to afford the help so that you can get a break n be able to just breathe for a few hours. Their is an agency that has help me with several local resources in my area. It is, "Area Agency on Aging." If you go to this website, www.seniorslist.com and type in your zipcode it should locate a agency near your location. Through this Area Agency on Aging, we now have the mnl going to a local church for about 4hrs once a wk for respite care. This will help give the mnl activities to do n to meet new friends n we will get a small break. The respite care is not free n not sure if Medicade will cover? If you have any relatives that u can 'trust,' n they live nearby, maybe u can get a couple of hrs break. Through these resources it has helped me somewhat feel less depressed n I am able to better give the care the mnl needs, sometimes. No one is perfect for we sometimes learn as we go for everyone situation is different. Hope this help everyone a little.
Hang in their n if you need to vent then vent away for it helps reduce stress as well.

I am new to this world of looking after an elderly person. My father in law is moving into our home in 3 days time, and I am scared stiff. I feel already like I am completely trapped and that my marriage is going to fall apart because of this. I am so angry that the rest of the family is ok with our marriage being in the firing line, ready to just deposit an angry, resentful old man in our laps and then dash off back to their own lives. My husband goes back to work, my kids go back to school, and I am left with him 24/7. Already I don't know whether I can cope, and I am angry that I have no choice in this situation but to step up and do what needs to be done for an exceptionally ungreatful family (and old man) and an oblivious husband who keeps telling me its going to be fine. Help please.

Susan: I understand your fear and your anger. Let me first make a suggestion about your question. Instead of posting it on a single "thread" under someone elses question, post it as a question or discussion on your own personal thread. You can do that by scrolling up to the top of this page and clicking on "Caregiver Forum" in the blue banner across the top of the page. Click there and a menu drops down, pick "Ask a Question" or "Start a Discussion." Both will get your question out to many more readers on AC. Hope you give that a shot as I think you will get many responses. You can just cut and paste the question you posed her and put in your own thread.

Ok, my feeling is you are getting off to a very bad start because you resent so much being put in this position of care giver. I don't blame you one bit. It's a huge job to take on and having no say it in is completely unacceptable.

If this is how decisions are made between you and your husband, I can understand why you feel your marriage will suffer as a result of your father in law moving in. I'd be resentful too.

So I'm wondering why this burden fell on you? I am also wondering what medical issues your FIL has and if the family is concerned about inheritance.

You can respond to my questions or you can post your own thread for more answers. If you post your own thread, come back here and tell us so we can respond and help.

Good Luck, Cat

I take care of mt bro in the home due to a head injury. He is so possessive. I cant talk to friends on phone. Go into another room,without him asking what i am doing! I feel like a prisoner in my own home. When I leave to run arrands I have to call when I arrive & when I leave. I cant have a relationship with anyone because of the jealousy. Familywont help dont even come by to visit. His birthday was last month, I planned a wondweful party invited 20 friends and family. Only 3 showed up. I was so disappointed. Can anyone tell me what to do.