My father has rapidly declined over the past 2 months and I don't know if he has more than days or weeks to live. He has been fighting cancer of the face for more than a decade. The small amount of cancer that they didn't remove, has not grown at all in the past 5 years with weekly infusions. He started being unstable on his feet in recent months, then cognition decline (almost like a Lewy body dementia) for the past months. Now within the past week or two he doesn't not get out of bed at all and sleeps all day. He has not wanted to eat for a while is just very out of it. He is getting frequent UTI's and just started on hospice. I know when he was mentally with it, he really wanted to continue treatment, so I know this is not him wanting to give up. He even asked my Mom a few months ago "why am I so confused". My question is, what would cause this decline if the cancer is not spreading? Why so suddenly? He had a scan last month and no cancer difference. He just turned 70 in Feb, so not too elderly. I'm trying not to get to anxious because I am pregnant and don't want to stress. I realize it may just be his time, but I guess I just want to understand the reasoning for this happening so that I can come to terms with it. My mom does not want me to come see him and remember him like this, especially due to the stress and travel being 7 months pregnant, but I'm not sure what the right decision is. She said he does not have a concept of time anyways. How much time does it sound like he has? He sits up to drink when instructed, but no longer gets out of bed. Thank you.
As your Father is on Hospice now there will be a reason that the doctor feels that he likely has no more than 6 months left to live, and the doctor, who knows your Father's case and all that is involved with his health is going to be your best touchstone in telling you why he believes your father is at the end stage of his own life. I think with so many now living to their 90s we are thinking that those dying in their 70s is more unusual than really it is, statistically.
I am sorry for all your grief, and so thankful that you have hospice to help you. They will welcome your questions, you know. It is a good part of what they do.
This may be the reason for confusion, unsteady gait sleeping more...
For you to visit is up to you. If it is a car ride that you could easily do I would make the trip. If seeing your dad would upset you I understand not wanting to go BUT would him dying before you got to see him upset you more?
If it is OK with mom the next time the Hospice Nurse visits if she can get you on the phone so you can ask questions that might help you.
Some Hospice have an App that allows you to communicate with the Hospice Team and ask questions and actually "see" how things are going. The one that "my" Hospice uses is Tap Cloud and it is a great way for family to keep in touch with what is going on.