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How utterly sad and pathetic it is that human beings would do these kinds of things to people who are already in pain with the situation of their loved one. God is watching.
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Sorry to hear all of that and that you lost your poor dad. My first thought is if they are stealing, what kind of people are they and how are they treating your dad!! I found hiring from an agency was the worst thing I could do. Most all of the Aides were school drop outs, and couldnt get a job doing anything else . I dodged 4 of them who gave me a gut feeling they were wrong, and sure enough 2 were in the newspaper as stealing a year later. I use the online care website and have found wonderful retired women, or educated college students who were great. I still have one who has been with me over 5 years and the others moved on as mom declined and their lives changed . I have cameras, real and fake, I have a lock on certain doors and I have been ok. I also live here and come home to them and if I saw something out of line once, they would be gone.I have strict rules and a list of what is to be done, and how, and with a smile and with a loving personality! I interviewed many many many for the right ones. For all others, interview your own people regardless of where you get them, go with your gut feelings, and get cameras. Make sure your loved ones are safe and loved in your absence.
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This angers me greatly. I have a couple of professional nurses come in and they are fantastic and would never do anything like that, but hesitate when it comes to any other home care. I would need to know the person's full name, where they live etc. If one thing came up missing from my house I would call the police and my attorney, and that agency would be sorry.
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Were these aides certified? or interviewed before being hired if they were they are trained well enough to know that sleeping during care is grounds for immediate dismissal. The agency should have dismissed her and you should have used your cell phone to capture her sleeping condition. A patient in the last stages of dying go through obvious behaviors that aids are suppose to attend to & should have would immediately should have called the agency about the residents decline and should have called you. The agency is libel for any damage to your home. Nanny cams even if not functional keep unethical or lazy people on there toes. Before letting anyone in your home a video of the homes condition especially valuables should be documented. You are not obsessive and your issues & concerns and anger are justified. You will have to go through the stages of mourning shock anger denial acceptance and each person in life & loss experiences that. Every person deals with it differently and may get caught up in the anger stage too long. Take part in a bereavement group voice those feelings. When alone let it out cry till exhaustion set in it will get you to the acceptance stage appropriately so you can make unencumbered decisions about your future. Your loved one was very fortunate to have a child who cared enough to provide home health care. Most parents pass in a nursing home. Your parent would want you to be RESILIENT and bounce back quickly.
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No, there is no happy light. My moms att. always brought 2 empty bags that were full by the time she left. I left New York and got to Floriday an hour before she left and her bags were full of heirlooms. I called the police and kicked her butt out of there. Sorry to say, but 90% of them steal. Put a camera in a teddy bear or monitor the home by computer. If you can, pop up here and there an hour before they leave and stay until they do. Hate to sound paranoid but almost all of them rob. Their thinking is that the dead can't use it so they'll put it to better use.
Sad but very true. Now I know I'll hear from the 1 or 2 people that had a good experience. Those must be the same 2 they shuffle around to make it appear all is well.
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Maybe you are obsessed with all the bad things in the past that can't be fixed. Let them go, past is past. Focus on the happy moments you had with your loved one, or else the dark thoughts take over completely. Redirect and reach for the light.
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