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My Mom was never an anxious person.

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Captain - You don't like B&D? You're just the kind of guy who needs a spanking.
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B & D is a little extreme for me.
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It makes sense that an older person's body and mind changing on them makes them feel vulnerable. I notice that my father, who is just entering dementia, gets so combative and angry over anything where he could possibly be responsible for forgetting something... like when I remind him to take medicine... But I've been noticing that after his angry outbursts, when he is over the rage part, I see fear in his eyes. He's troubled.

Kthin3, you are speaking my language and I couldn't agree more. Staying as calm as we can in the face of an elder's anxiety/demise is helpful... or more accurately, if we get frazzled it just makes everything so much worse. I also learned to do Breathing Exercises/meditation by researching online. I've now put BE into my daily life as a way to remain calm and serene.
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In other words, they are losing control over their destiny. They have no choice but to trust their kids whom they remember in sh***y diapers. Very scary.
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I feel the anxiety comes from the fact that they realize (at least in part) that they are slowly losing their independence, their clarity of thought and that physically so much is breaking down. My dad, who was ALWAYS an anxious person has become much more so. Some days are extremely difficult. I try to remain calm as I've found that meeting his anxiety w/my anxiety or anger is like throwing gasoline on fire. I began meditating to regain my serenity and while it's no overnight cure IT HELPS ENORMOUSLY. You don't need to spend a penny to learn how to do it; just Google "Meditation techniques" as I did and you'll find a wealth of information. Bless you and I wish you the best always.
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Perseverance is right. Think about it if you were having to finally start asking or getting help and losing your independence which affects your self-confidence. The elderly don't want to become a burden or have to rely on their kids. But they are becoming aware that they may have to. Also, their health is beginning to decline - which further hinders their independence and self-confidence. It's sad - but understandable that they become anxious. All we can do is try to assure them that we will do the best we can to help them. Good luck!!
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Fear. Dementia. Alzheimers....
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