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I am not sure if the AL facility is getting their pay each month, why are they always asking my husband to provide for his brother's needs/wants? That is what they get paid to do.

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Haily,

I never had an aide call me. I had a Medtech call. They are a step up from the aides. I had a white board in Moms room and the aides left me notes.

Now I am suspicious. I wonder if the aides are smoking his cigs. How far are you away from the AL? Maybe limit his smokes. Only take a few packs at a time and tell him thats it. 7 breaks. 7 cigs. Thats about a pk every 3 days. So 2 1/3 pks a week. So thats a carton a month.

I can see the frig for drinks but snacks don't need refrigeration. At Mom's AL, they had a snack room. All kinds of snacks were there and something to drink. Really, the way they are fed, snacks are not needed. He can always take his dessert back to his room for later. This would be where the frig comes in.

Clothing, at Moms AL each residents clothing was washed separately to cut down on it being lost. Check to see how its done at BILs. If all combined, then put his name on and in everything even his socks. There are iron on tabs. I even put Moms name in her shoes. I took pictures of her clothing. When something went missing I had the picture so they could find it. Even her glasses. I took pictures from every angle.
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haileybug Dec 12, 2019
JoAnn29 Wow, thanks for responding. You are so smart.

White board, you just gave me a great idea. I also, will be looking for the iron on tabs.

Thanks again for all of this advice. It is much appreciated.
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Countrymouse Here, you can get a carton of cigarettes for $35.00 a carton. The aids there said the residents get 7 cigarette breaks a day. So, you are right …. that is a lot of money a month for cigs.

Here is my husband and I thought on this. What in the world is people in these facilities smoking in the first place? That is not good for their health. Also, if they are in a Memory Care Unit ….. I will say no more. BIL stayed 5 days with my husband and I and never mentioned the word. Thanks though,
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What I suggest is you ask to see his personal needs acct. I received a statement every so often showing me the withdrawals made and the balance. Then you will see where his money goes. The facility is not allowed to use any of the money unless he or a rep has signed off on it. This money can not be used for his care.

And I know no AL that will see he gets his cigs or any personal items. Even in LTC thats families responsibility. What you do, is get what he needs and show a receipt to the person who handles the PNA accts and you get reimbursed.

The AL Mom lived in did not provide vending machines. So, if BIL is using the $62 how is he being able to?

This is what I bought for Mom in an AL. Her Depends, her soap/shampoo, wipes, haircut, toothpaste, clothing etc. I didn't buy snacks but did buy water and her favorite tea. They give them enough to eat they don't need to snack. Someone is always having a B/D party or they are celebrating a holiday.

How far is BIL into his Dementia? If this is taking a toll on your finances, maybe u might want to consider LTC. In that setting, his Depends are covered as is his toiletries. You would still need to supply clothing when needed (this is where PNA comes in) unless u don't mind the facility using donations. (They tried this with my Mom. She had 9 outfits which I washed. When I got to 2, I would wash the others, I guess when the aide saw 2 she thought that was all Mom had. And the tops they picked out! My Mom wouldn't be caught dead in.)

Is her a smoker? If so, a good time to wean him off. Like said, at $8 a pk at a pk a day is $56 a week. I personally would not be paying for this.

Hope u can find out what is going on. Come back and update us.
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haileybug Dec 12, 2019
JoAnn29 Thank you so much for all the good information you provided.

My husband and I do not mind providing clothes and personal items for him. It just seems like we buy him clothing that is always missing.

Then the aids are calling us wanting my husband to bring his brother a carton of cigarettes. They said the residents get 7 smoke breaks a day. The aids also suggested to my husband and I to buy him a mini refridgerator to put in his room and for us to provide him drinks and snacks. We are like okay, but what is his $62.00 month being used for?
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$62/month isn't a lot of money if he needs a haircut, incontinence supplies as well as smokes and snacks. Ask if they can provide an itemized list of all his extra purchases, it should help you to get a handle on where the $$ is going. - you may need to allow him to have only a small amount per week for his "extras".
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Chacaretoomuch8 I see what you are saying, now. Once approved for LTC Medicaid, they will pay for his meds. That is probably why you received a bill. Hopefully, everything will get straightened out once he is approved.
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Chacaretoomuch8 Correct me if I am wrong but I think only the "rich" would receive such a bill?
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Chacaretoomuch8 Dec 10, 2019
Hailey, I dont know if it’s because he’s LTC medcaid is pending or what. But he only gets $250 a month which goes to his facility $200 of it and pending disability.. He only has $50 left a month. But I received a bill from someone the nursing home deals with saying to make payment upon on receipt..
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My husband and I wore told by the administrator that everything is paid for by Medicaid and his check. The residents get about $62.00/ month to spend on drinks, snacks, cigs, etc. Why are we asked to purchase these things if that is what they are suppose to purchase with his money?
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Countrymouse Dec 11, 2019
$62 wouldn't keep me in cigarettes for a week. How much is a pack where you live?
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ALs do not provide for personal needs like, diapers, shampoo, favorite food ect. When brother signed on his room and board is one monthly charge. The other charged is based on his needs. The more help needed the more cost. Like dressing, bathing, pills. If they take brother to appts. there will additional charges.

Who is paying for his care? A POA or Medicaid. If a POA, they should be contacted for anything brother may need. If Medicaid, not sure what they provide other than paying for his rent and care.

Really need more info to give accurate answers.
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haileybug Dec 10, 2019
JoAnn29 Medicaid and then residents get a certain amount each month from their check. This money should be used for person items/wants. Thanks
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