Why does my Mother not invite people into her room at assisted living?

Have you suggested it to her, in the moment? Or afterwards, like if you've come for visit and find her chatting in the hallway? What reason does she give you?

When my mom was in Independent Living, i don't think she ever invited anyone in. She's always been a bit standoffish, and easily overwhelmed by others.

Same here. My mother was in IL for 8 years. She never invited anyone in, or went to anyone's apartment. Same as Babalou's mother - she was always socially incompetent and shy. And yet, she complained of being lonely. She would hover on the perimeter of cocktail hour and cling to the one woman she sat with at dinner yet never visited her - even when she was sick. Come to think of it, as a child I don't remember her inviting any of our neighbors into the house, only relatives.

It may not occur to her to do this. I don't think there are any residents in the Memory Care unit where my cousin is who would have the insight to invite a visitor into their room. I suspect they would just stand there in the hall. Some may talk, others would listen to a guest as they talked.

My cousin never suggests that we go to her room when I visit. We would stand in the hallway the entire visit if I didn't suggest it and ask that she follow me to her room in her wheelchair.

Sometimes we go into the visiting/sitting room at her Memory Care unit. It has a couch, chairs, tv. and is for the residents to use when they have visitors. Does her facility have one of these? I'd check it out and let the visitors know about it.

What is her room like? If it is typical of many AL's here it is set up very much like a nursing home room and dominated by the bed with a little extra space for a few comfy chairs. If her room is like that it may feel to her as though she is entertaining in her bedroom, something she feels comfortable to do with family but not outsiders. Encourage her and those who visit to use the common seating areas, I hope there are some suitable ones available.

My moms AL they have private apartments, enough room for bed, recliner, tv,small table. We go and sit out in the common area. It's more comfortable. She has told me that nobody goes into each others apartments..they socialize at meal time or activities.