Im sorry that this sounds like a rant. Perhaps I just need to vent. So this weekend Mom s back to "you're no daughter". She doesn't need my help. Four sibs take turns staying with her around the clock. She claims there's never anyone here and she's tired of not knowing who is sleeping on the air bed in the living room every night. No party for us, either Mom. She's not grateful for anything when she's like this. Not sure sure what puts her in these funks but they are worse every time. I probably take it the hardest being the eldest daughter. Today she wants a shower. That's a weeks worth of work for her even with my help. But today she intends to do it herself. Claims I'm selfish and can't spare 15 minutes for her. IM HERE 4 DAYS A WEEK!!! I know many say to to redirect her. My mother does not redirect. She's angry at the world , but mostly, me claiming I've done this to her. On some level I know it not my Mother speaking, but on another level I'm certain it is because for so many years she's been like this, but was able to be independent because she was stronger, but we never knew why. Now that this vascular dementia has come up so suddenly, I wonder if In fact it's been going on for many more years that we realize. Oh, and she's the quintessential showtime - for the docs, the nurse practitioner, the out of town sibs. I just wonder from those with vascular dementia experience, is this the norm? What can I expect next, any advice on coping? As always, I appreciate this forum, the outlet it provides and the advice it offers. I'm hoping that tomorrow my Mom shows up for a bit.