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I am laughing because of these incontinent problems some are hilarious unless of course it's you dealing with it. But praise God I have to laugh about some of the conversations. I will say "do you need to go to the bathroom"? and she will say "no I am not going this week, today or this year". LOL And then when she has a bowel movement and I show her and say "that was a good bowel movement (because she was always one to watch her bowels and did suffer sometimes with constipation) but now that she is in a later stage of dementia, I do not understand her denying the bowel movements. She will say, I did not do that very sternly she says it. And then to get her to go to the bathroom, I have to make up all kinds of stories, bribes for ice cream afterwards. And then she will say no and go on herself if I do not catch her having body language that lets me know it's time. This is very restraining not being able to leave her side watching for those "Times" after a meal and of course with no exercise, her body does not respond as ours does because we get more exercise and we often go the same time each day. Any ideas? I guess it is better than having a mom OC about going to many times to the bathroom like I am reading on this post. She has OC about other things like wanting scissors to cut up books or folding multiple tissues. We end of just tearing pages from a magazine and that seems to soothe her and I find folded tissues everywhere. She is 87 and I am happy I still have my mom but it sure is trying at times

I'm assuming she has dementia? If so, you really can't ask why they do or not do something. Anything is on the table for how they will behave. I guess you just have to accept what they do and keep moving on.
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Reply to againx100
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I would start a 2 hour schedule. And it is non negotiable she gets up about every 2 hours.
Get her up, onto the toilet and then a snack, a piece of fruit or a bit of juice, tea. A schedule like that does several things.
Getting up and changing her position will increase blood flow to areas that do not have great circulation. this can help prevent pressure sores.
Getting up to use the toilet successful or not she can wash her hands, all part of the routine. but great if she will be having a bit of a snack.

As far as activities..
give her the kitchen towels to fold.
sort socks. (even if you have to go to a resale shop and buy socks)
there are scissors that are safe for children they might be ok for her. (blunt tips and they don't cut real well from what I recall.)
puzzles are great you can get sturdy wood ones, large piece cardboard ones.
The wooden game Jenga is great stacking wood blocks. (great for me until my Husband tried eating the blocks.)
Large piece Lego blocks

if possible let her help with dinner. peel potatoes or carrots. Tear up lettuce for a salad (see told you hand washing is good!)
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Reply to Grandma1954
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If she likes to keep herself busy with cutting and folding, many dementia experts recommend folding laundry or towels, sorting and pairing socks, cutting old t-shirts into rags, etc. Although this seems physical it is also mental activity for them since they have to concentrate. LOs who are active like this tend to sleep better at night and starting these activities later in the afternoon helps with Sundowning.

Your mom may not retain her ability to know when she has to have a BM. My 99-yr old aunt with advanced dementia was having a pain high up on her right abdomen. Turns out she was constipated. We gave her stool softeners and started her on Citracel and all is well now.
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Reply to Geaton777
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