Why does my 86 yr old mother sneak around our house? There's no reason for her to do this, or to sneak & hide food.

Don’t know about arguing with people who aren’t there. That’s a bit odd. But as for the food thing, there are closet eaters. Just like closet drinkers, etc. Is she overweight and embarrassed? Or maybe some other reason? Is she truly hungry? You know, she may have a larger appetite than she wants you to know about. Is she stress eating or eating out of boredom? She’s bipolar, has she discussed appetite with her psychiatrist? I know people gain weight on some psych meds for bipolar because they start feeling better on the meds and they get their appetite back.

Or maybe something else is going on, either physically or emotionally.

Oh, this is so common. Usually, it's just wandering, not sneaking around, and thinking about all the "things" she used to have and like and love, and wanting to go look for them. It's a real memory thing, or maybe a not-real memory thing. But, unless she is a danger to herself or others, nothing to worry about. Just hide everything really valuable.

As for the food, also quite common. Here's what I would do. I don't know what kind of food she is hiding, but if she cannot find it, or cannot reach it, she cannot hide it. I'm sure you are smart enough to figure that out.

Probably: She's hiding food because she feels as if she has no control and maybe won't get fed. Would not matter even if you hired a chef who comes and cooks her whatever she wants, 3 meals a day, and you have every snack and beverage she wants. She will probably still be afraid that she won't have food and hide food.

My mother has been in a really good nursing home for 18 months. She likes the food, all 3 meals. And, I bring her all her favorite cookies, crackers, etc., and put them in a closed plastic bin in her closet. They will bring her hot tea at night, and whatever biscuits they have. They will bring her something to drink or eat anytime she wants, basically, even if it's only a snack in between the hours that the dining room for "meals" is closed. She is actually eating 100% better there than she was at home with 24/7 caregivers. Still? Not enough for her. In the dining room, they always have a huge tray, open to everyone 24 hours a day, with individually wrapped fruity protein bars, and at least one kind of cookie, and one kind of cracker, and 6 ounce juice bottles or regular or diet soda. And, usually bananas and sometimes other snacks.

And, I don't know when she does it, but she takes and hoards the fruity protein bars, and the crackers and sometimes the cookies. Opens the individual pack up, eats half, and puts the other half in her nightstand. Every time I visit her, I look through her 3-drawer nightstand and throw away the half eaten stuff she takes from the dining room.

It's just a thing. With so many elderly people. She also saves all the extra "sugar substitute" packets from when she eats in her room, or she has her nightly tea, and she even saves teabags. And, she even saves 2-3 large white styrofoam cups, the ones they use to bring her water every day. Makes no sense.

Can you get her to a doctor? Say it's for a check-up. This sounds like dementia.