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They said that they love us and want to spend more time with us since they are aging. They wanted to sell their home and move in with my husband and I (in our 50's) permanently. I know there's another reason - they need to sell because they are getting financially strapped. We do pay their mortgage. They want to use their money and live a better life and the only way they can do it is to be with us for good. I know that we do get along and we love both of them dearly too, but I do enjoy quiet time with my husband and dog. They also have a dog which is bothersome to my dog. I was left speechless when they told me their idea and my mom now is hurt and disappointed in her daughter. They can rent their home and live with us for 3-4 months if they need the money, but permanent?

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I too would ask why you're paying their mortgage. "They want to use their money to live a better life"? So they don't want to use some of it to provide a better life for all four of you, just them? Put your foot down, stop paying the mortgage and say NO to moving in. Sounds like they just want to use you and your resources, eventually you will be their nurse/servant 24/7 and your life will be in the toilet.

So far as the dog is concerned, I've adopted/rescued life long, both dogs and cats. They may not get on to start but I only step in if someone is going to get hurt. They sort it out themselves. They're smarter than we are :)
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maximus1, good heavens why are you "the child" paying your parent's mortgage? That has to stop, as all that money is leaving your own retirement fund. Your folks need to sell, downsize [and not at your home] and find senior apartments where the rent is based on ones income.

Curious why your parents are now financially strapped? Did the live beyond their means? If so, that won't change by selling, in fact they will have more money to use depending on the equity in their home. They will need to learn to budget.

If your parents wind up at your front door with a moving van, have your parents pay you room/board, otherwise you will see your expenses double.... they will live the better life, but not you and hubby... and this could go on for many years.
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Maximus1 do not let them move in and do not pay their mortgage. They are not making good decisions. Dementia creeps up slowly, it starts with forgetting things, then not paying bills and mixing up medications. Sometimes it ends with setting the kitchen on fire. Your mom is playing the guilt card; do not take it. You have gone above and beyond. What they may need is a Guardian of some sort. You can petition the court to appoint someone to look after their financial affairs.
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Your profile says that someone has cancer and is in Independent living. Is that your father? Does you mother live with him or is this someone different from your parents?

It's a big decision to have someone move in with you indefinitely. It's difficult to anticipate what it entails, but it is very likely you would become their caregivers for the rest of their life. I'd take that into consideration. I'd also figure out if you need to get a written contract for their care. Others here might chime in with info on that.

If I was considering it, I'd do a lot of research, before committing. Doing this without a written contract is risky. If you read at this site, you'll see how these arrangements often go bad. If you do decide to agree to it, I'd let them know that they would have to rehome their dog as that he would not be a good fit. Maybe, that would dissuade them.

For some people these arrangements work out fine. But, if it's just the money, why not get them some financial counseling, a budget and backup plan so they can have some peace of mind. That might allow them the confidence to stay where they are.
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Maximus - I answered you on another post. You are an adult. You decide who lives with you and how long. Your parents finances are their responsibility. You can certainly help them find a place that is within their means (elderly, low income housing) but you do not HAVE to have them live with you. Hurt and disappointed is a way to manipulate you into feeling guilty and into letting them live with you. You don't have to live together in order to spend quality time together. you clearly don't want them to live with you, so the answer is "NO" but you can help them find some place they can afford.
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