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Thank you for your responses. I’m new to caring for my mom 24/7, and I’m still learning and trying to cope... and sometimes I feel I fail too many times. Maybe projection isn’t the way to explain it. She will do crazy making behavior, blaming me of saying and acting what she’s doing herself. I probably don’t help when I desperately try to reason with her. I try to tell her how much it hurts me, and to please be kind. The meanness/cruelty from her can just take such a toll on me, especially when I see her behave in such a nice way when my sister rarely visits. This I don’t understand. I know I need God’s help, grace, and mercy with this.
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Reply to MRRE2121

In the early stages, the person might seem mean, cruel, or uncooperative. The only reason that I have heard of is that their brain is going through changes. It's being damaged and it affects their behavior. There may be some behavior that is in their control, but, it's difficult to say which and how much. Later, they are even more affected and may not even realize what they are doing. I would say that the level of resistance and rudeness with my LO did vary. She started out really bad, but, it eventually did taper down. Of course, with the decline, also came loss of more memory, extreme repetition, pacing, sleep disorder, loss of mobility, incontinence, etc. So, there was always another issue that would pop up. Eventually, my LO would allow the caregivers to bathe her and change her. But, even now, she may get agitated in certain circumstances.

You might consult with her doctor. Sometimes, medication can help with mental distress. It helped my LO a lot when she suffered with anxiety and depression. I'd ask she be evaluated for that.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1

Can you please explain what “does projection on me” means?

Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease, even in its early stages. The person may be aware of what’s happening to them and take it out on everyone else. There is no reasoning with someone with this disease. Arguing with them is useless. My mother er would become angry or worse yet, emotional and start to cry.

Do some research reading in this disease and it’s progression. I’ve also heard the YouTube videos by Teepa Snow are very helpful.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

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